Together we will make it through !
by crazy CM fan
Summary: Life writes it's own storys, Alex Blake had to learn this the hard way. In one blink of an eye everything can change for good or bad, she finds love and friendship in a place and world she last expected. But in the next moment life can shatter. Alex Blake/Spencer Reid, Alex has two Kids Kathrin (Kat) 15 and Ethan 6. Rating might change in later Chapters !
1. Prolog

January 1997

Alex was very nervous; she could hear the door open and knew that James was home. She had to tell him! It was a classic now or never situation, but she still had no idea how exactly she could do it, maybe she just needed to throw him into the cold water.

"Hello Love," said James happily as he walked into the kitchen and opened the shirt of his policeman uniform, he gave her a quick peck on her lips and Alex smiled, but it was faked and he knew immediately that something bothered her. "Hey…what's wrong?" he asked, a little worried.

Alex opened her mouth but the words just wouldn't come out, so she closed her mouth and smiled again. "Nothing," was all she said, but now he got serious.

"Allie!" he said firmly, "What's wrong?"

Alex slightly chewed on her bottom lip. She still didn't know how to say it. "James I-…" but she stopped, so he took her face in his hands and looked her deep into her eyes.

"Alex Blake, I did not marry you so you could have secrets from me, especially when they upset you! Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it, honey!"

Before she could think about it, the words already left her mouth. "I'm pregnant." James just continued to stare at her and tears started to form in her eyes. "I-I know you don't want to have Children…" When James finally came out of his shock and saw that she nearly cried, he quickly kissed her.

At first, Alex was too surprised to response to the kiss, but he already ended it and smiled brightly at her, a part of Alex thought he would say something like: "Don't be silly, we always used protection," or "You just ate too much." But he said something she didn't expect:

"Why are you crying, love? This is wonderful!" His smile brightened, if even possible.

Alex frowned. "I thought you didn't want to have Kids?"

"Allie! I've always wanted to have Children with you! I didn't mean that I don't want any Children, I just wanted to save some money, with the house and everything, but if you're pregnant, than that's great!" He took her face in his hands again and kissed passionately, now she responded to his actions and laid her arms around his neck. James lifted her up and whirled her around, while Alex burst out laughing.

September 26 1997

"Are you ready?" called James up the stairs, as he already stood at the door and waited for Alex to come down.

"Coming!" Alex called back before she slowly made it down the stairs, as she couldn't see where exactly she was going because of her round stomach.

"Are you sure we should go to my parents? I mean, the due date is in one week and if the little one comes after you, it's going to happen any moment!"

She stuck out her tongue at him. "Ha, ha, ha, and if it comes after you, I'm still going be pregnant in a year." With that, she waddled to the car.

Since maybe one hour Alex hadn't talked and pretended to be asleep, in real she nearly lost it because of the pain. But she kept quiet. Dr. Davener said that this was going to happen more often and there was no need to worry before the contractions weren't coming all 5 to 10 minutes or lasted longer than one minute. But because Alex was still pretending to be asleep, she couldn't see the clock straight and didn't realize that only 6 minutes went past between the last contractions and that the one she had now already lasted longer than a minute. When Alex started slowly to "Wake up," the contraction started to fade, she wanted to drink some water, but as she reached for the bottle she noticed that there was a big wet spot between her legs, her water broke.

"Oh no … James, we should made a stop at Olympia," Alex stated calm.

"Huh? Why?" He sent her a short questioning look before he concentrated on the Highway again.

"Well, I got that feeling that my water broke." With that, she lifted her shirt so he could see it too.

"Oh … Oh! Yeah. O-okay," he then took the nearest exit to Olympia.

Just as they passed the sign that the next Hospital was under a mile away, another contraction came down on Alex, which caused her to groan in pain and grip the door handle tight. James stopped himself from asking if everything was okay, because he knew that his wife would show him exactly how painful these contractions were. He quickly searched for a parking lot at the hospital and got out of the car, before he could help Alex out she had the next contraction, so he waited and made it slowly to the hospital entrance with her. "We need some help over here please, my wife is in labor and the water broke!" A nearby nurse quickly came to their help.

xxxxx

"Oww … Aahh! Oh my God get it out!" screamed Alex after 10 hours of labor, in which she started to push half an hour ago.

She was out of breath and wisps of her hair were stuck to her sweat-covered forehead. James stood by her side the whole time and didn't even wince as it seemed like Alex wanted to break his hand with her grip, he just kept telling her how great she did."

I can see the head, Mrs. Blake! Just keep breathing, it's almost done!" said the doctor.

James smiled. "It's almost over, honey, I'm so proud, you can do it Allie!"

"I'm … not so … sure 'bout that …" panted Alex, who was exhausted.

"Of course you can! I know it!" James bent over to kiss her cheek.

"You're doing perfect, honey."

"Ready, Mrs. Blake?"

Alex just nodded. She couldn't find the breath for more words.

"Okay … one, two, three, push! ... Yeah just like that! Don't stop! Yes, yes, yes! One more time, take another deep breath," said the doctor and smiled at her.

"Last one okay? ... Now push! That's great, only -" But the two couldn't hear more, as the words were drowned by the most beautiful cry two people could hear, echoed through the room.

"There she is. Congratulations, it's a beautiful Baby-Girl !"

They barely made out the words as they had only eyes for their little wonder that was placed in Alex's arms.

"She's perfect," muttered Alex hoarse and amazed by her daughter, while James counted the tiny fingers and toes.

"Everything is in place, and she's beautiful, just like her mommy," James grinned with tears in his eyes and kissed Alex with all the love he had for her.

"Now … Daddy will come with me and the little one, so we can see how much she weights and everything okay?" said one of the nurses and gently took her from Alex's arms and after he gave his wife another kiss, James followed her out of the room, while the Doctor took care of Alex and the afterbirth.

After he cleaned his daughter with a little help by the nurse, she was measured and weighed, their little angel was one foot and seven inches tall and weight 8 lbs. 4 oz.

"So, any name suggestions?" asked the nurse as James held his daughter for the first time.

"Kathrin Marie."

"That's a real nice name!" said the woman and wrote it down on the birth certificate. "You can go to your wife now." James didn't need to be told twice.

"I hope you didn't mess up her name," said Alex as James laid their daughter carefully into her arms before he sat down beside her on the bed, so they're both could watch their baby girl.

"Her Name is Kathrin Marie, okay?

"Yes, that's perfect for her," Alex stated as she touched the little cheek and nose with her index finger, then Kathrin opened her eyes and dark chocolate brown and stormy grey ones were met by her bright blue ones.

"Hello, Kathrin. I'm your Daddy and this is your Mommy," James said and she grasped his little finger into her fist, as if to say hello. "I love you two so much " whispered James and kissed his wife and then placed a light kiss against the forehead of his little princess.

June. 14 2001

Erin Strauss. Alex wouldn't forget this name any time soon, because this woman had just destroyed her Carrier within the FBI when she said that it had been all her fault when they arrested the wrong person. Now Alex and some colleagues had been degraded. She had worked so hard after her maternity protection and for what? Only to be nearly fired because of a woman who was too much of a coward to take the fall herself, even if she screwed up like the rest of them.

Anger rose in her as she thought about that bitch and tears of pure frustration and rage rolled down her cheeks as she drove home. She had never been good with that woman, but she respected her and never thought she would do such a thing, only to save her own ass.

As Alex pulled into their street she couldn't believe what she saw. There, at her house, was a crowd of reporters and cameramen. She quickly wiped the tears off of her cheek before getting out of the car.

"Agent Blake, do you have something to say about the accusation against you?"

"Is it true that you're responsible that the wrong person was arrested?"

From then on Alex couldn't make out anymore as everyone talked at the same time and they surrounded her.

"Mommy!" Alex turned around and saw Kathrin ran up to her in a pretty dress and bare foot, and, except some reporters, everyone became quiet. Alex pushed the men and women who were in between her and her daughter out of her way, whirled her around before she embraced Kathrin tight and made it into their home fast, while her little sunshine laughed. She couldn't understand what was going on.

"Daddy and I have a surprise for you, Mommy!" Kathrin said really excited.

"Really? Where?" asked Alex as she gave her a kiss and then let her slide off of her waist.

"In the Garden!" the little girl than grasped her mother's hand and pulled her to the backdoor. Before Alex could open the door Kathrin stopped her. "You have to close your eyes!"

Alex then opened the door and closed her eyes. "Alright. They're closed."

She then was led through the Garden by a constantly giggling Kathrin. "Open up!" said Kathrin and Alex opened her eyes. As soon as she saw the surprise she had to laugh, there in a hammock laid James, topless and on a little table beside the hammock where three glasses with orange juice. "Do you like it, Mommy?"

Alex smiled brightly at her daughter. "I absolutely love it! Thank you so much!" She bent down and gave her a big kiss.

"You know I was doing all the work," said James as she got into the hammock beside him and he took Kathrin in his arms before he sat her in between them.

"You're going to get your reward later," whispered Alex before she kissed him, he then noticed that something was not right. "Hey, are you okay?" Alex hesitated.

"Nothing … I'll tell you later," with that, she gently pulled her daughter closer to her, kissed her cheek before tickling her slightly and she than ran her fingers through the blond hair she inherited from James. Alex didn't want to talk about it, not even think about it, right now, in this moment, only her family counted, her daughter who she loved more than anything else and for whom she has had so little time lately.

June 18. 2001

,,Want to go to bed ?" asked James while they laid cuddled together on the couch and Alex had yawned for the fourth time.

"Yeah, I'm tired" he switched the TV off and they both got up.

"I'm going to check up on Kathrin okay " Alex made it up the stairs and slowly opened the door and peered in, something in the back of her head told her that something was not right. It was dark, but thanks to the full moon outside, she could see that something was clearly not right, the window was open and the bed looked empty !. Alex switched on the light, her eyes widened and her blood ran cold, her daughter was gone !.

"James ! JAMES ! Kathrin is gone !" screamed Alex and she could hear something break downstairs before fast paces came up the stairs.

"What ?!". "She's gone ! Oh my God she's gone my Baby is gone !" Alex panicked and made it to the bed, pulled the empty covers away and then ran to the window. The ladder was still standing there but something else made the panic in her rise, blood, there was blood on the windowsill !

xxxxx

,,I just want my daughter back !" yelled Alex loud as her colleagues discussed all at ones what their next step should be. Now everyone looked at her, none of them had seen her like that ever, they hadn't even seen her crying, and now she sat there on her sofa eyes and nose puffy from all the crying and she didn't care if they saw her like that, she didn't care if they looked at her with pity.

All she cared for was her daughter who had been kidnapped three hours ago.

"I just want her back " repeated Alex quietly and Claire, a coworker she liked most, sat down beside her and took her hand.

"I promise you Alex, we are going to find her ".

"I just want her back "whispered Alex and James beside her took her in his arms and hold her close while kissing her temple.

"This just came in !" said another Agent and placed a Laptop on the coffee table in front of the three.

Alex couldn't look long on the screen before she buried her face in James neck, who also closed his eyes, it was their little Angel in a dark basement like room, a chain around her right ankle which led to a hook on the Wall behind her, but most painful for them both was her screaming, she cried for them both and begged them to come and get her. Alex was about to get up when suddenly a voice could be heard.

"Hello Agents, while you were still trying to catch me, I got myself a little gift, and what a beautiful little one she is ! So because you arrested a complete Idiot who would have never been able to do what I did, I decided to challenge you a bit, let's see if your able to save little Kathrin here before the time is over…oh I almost forgot you can thank Strauss for all this here, if she hadn't told the media where you lived I would have never made myself the stress to get her, so Thank you very much, bye bye, and enjoy the show !".

"Where is she ?" asked Alex with clenched teeth and anger, pain and sorrow in her voice at the same time.

"Al-" but James interrupted Claire.

"Allie this is not going to help ".

"Yes it is ! It's going to help me ! What have I ever done to her to deserve this Huh ? She destroyed my carrier and even worse she got our daughter kidnapped !" screamed Alex in pure sorrow and a little guilt over the fact that she hadn't protected her daughter from this man and that she might never see her beloved Kathrin again.

Everyone starred at her while she had her outburst, but James only embraced her tight, tears also slide down his cheeks while Alex sobbed in his shoulder, of course he knew exactly what sorrow and rage she felt, it was the same one he felt himself, it was bother their daughter who had been kidnapped.

xxxxx

She didn't wait until Claire parked the car in front of the house the other FBI cars were standing, Alex immediately unbuckled herself and got out of the car, while Claire still tried to park.

The moment she was ten feet away from the car, Sam came out of the house with Kathrin in his arms. "Mommy ! Daddy !" cried Kathrin and floundered like hell and reached out for her mother with her little arms.

"Kathrin !" Sam had to put her down or else she would have kicked him bad, but it didn't matter. Alex sank to her knees as she was able to hold her little Kathrin in her arms again, who clung tight on her. Two seconds later they were both in James arms, who wasn't any less relief to have his daughter back as his wife. When the corpse of the man who did all this was carried away, none of the two looked up, it didn't matter, he was dead and their little Kathrin was with them again.

March 2003

,,Honey ?" asked Alex as she opened the door to Kathrin's bedroom, and saw that Kathrin laid flat on her stomach on her bed and that her face was buried in her pillow. She stepped in and closed the door.

"Kat ? Sweetheart?" she said before she made it over to the bed and sat down beside her daughter and stroked over her back in smooth circles.

"Hy we aveo go ?" said Kathrin with her face still in the pillow so Alex couldn't understand a word.

"What ? Kat Darling, I can't understand what you're saying when you mumble in your pillow like that " said Alex and then Kat turned her head, her eyes and nose were red from crying and the tears were still flowing.

"Why do we have to go ?" and then sat up beside her mother. Some Days ago Alex had received a teaching offer at George Town University as a Professor for Forensic Linguistics and after discussing it she and James agreed that she would take the offer. But this meant that they had to move, to Alexandria Virginia at the other side of North America to be specific.

"Because I have a new job there, I'm sorry Kat, but there is no other way " Alex then took her into her arms and kissed her temple while Kat snuggled closer to her.

"But then I can't see Ellen anymore !" just as Kat had found a real Friend they were moving, it broke Alex's heart, just like her, Kathrin was an intelligent Child, which made her not very popular around Kids her age or Classmates, even though she was not a know it all, she more likely tried to hide it.

"I don't want to go " pouted Kat, Alex pulled her even closer and gave her a long kiss on her cheek.

"I'm sorry Honey, but you know what ? When we move to Alexandria, I'm sure you're going to find many great Friends, 'cause nobody knows you there and you can make a fresh start, and be who you are Kat !".

"I still don't want to move !".

December 2006

They settled in in Alexandria just wonderful, they had a beautiful house, both her and James jobs caused them real fun, they had nice colleagues and friends and most important to them, Kat also found some friends who liked her without her pretending to be someone she wasn't and without the mobbing.

After Alex had tucked Kat in, she and James were about to drink a Glass of wine together, but Alex had trouble to keep herself from smiling and burst out with the big news. James came in with a bottle of wine and two wineglasses.

"Glass to me please !" but before he could pour the wine into her glass, Alex quickly covered it with her hand.

"No not for me " she said.

"What ? Why ? That is your favorite ?" It was more of a question as he gave the bottle a wary look.

"Yes, it is, but that wouldn't be a good idea " said Alex and mentally counted down, on how long it would took him to understand.

"But sex is funnier when we better said you are a little drunk " she hit him pretty hart for that.

"That's not what I meant !"

"Ow, what is it then ? It IS your favorite…wait a Moment, no…" he starred at her, "You're pregnant ?" Alex laughed and nodded.

"Yes, seven weeks " she said happily.

"Wow…I mean wow…we're going to have another Baby ?" she grinned.

"Yeah we're going to have another Baby !" he took her face in his hands and kissed her, he then let his right hand slide down on her abdomen ,,I love you…you, Kitty and our Baby ".

"Stop calling her Kitty she's not a cat !...and I think we should tell her when we can be sure that I can hold the Baby " Alex said, she didn't want Kat to be excited of becoming a big sister when she still had a chance of an early miscarriage.

"Okay…but everything is going to be fine…I love you !" said James and Alex leaned close to him.

June 3 2007

In the middle of the night, Alex awoke because of a strong contraction in her abdomen, she took a deep breath and slowly the pain began to fade. When she looked at the clock beside her she saw that it was 3.47 in the morning, she rolled on her side and began to stroke over her big belly, while drifting off to sleep again. But not long and she could feel the next contraction pulling her womb together, a glimpse at her nightstand told her that only four minutes had passed by.

"James ?" she asked into the dark, but no response came and not for the first time she cursed his deep sleep ,,James !" she said louder and shook him, with a loud snore he sat straight up and rubbed his face.

"I'm awake, I'm awake what do you want today ?" he asked tired ,,I'm not hungry damn it, I'm in labor !" he jumped out of bed and switched on the light, ,,Are you-" Alex sent him a glance which clearly told him "Don't you dare to finish that sentence !".

"Okay I'm gonna wake Kat and take the bag to the car " said James as he helped her out of bed, before he quickly put on a pair of Jeans.

In the Hospital James took care of Kat, who was a little jumpy to become a big sister, until their friend and neighbor Andy could make it, while the nurses and midwife took care of Alex. As the midwife just examined her again could a frown be seen on her face.

,,Get Doctor Tayler please !" she said to the nurse next to her.

"W-why what's wrong ?" asked Alex.

,,Well…I can't tell for sure and would like to also conclude her, if you like I could bring your husband in, Charlotte here can watch your daughter for a second " Alex nodded. Then James came in and immediately took her hand.

"Everything alright Love ?" he asked.

"I don't know…James I think something is wrong with the Baby " and the fear could be clearly made out in her voice. "Hey it's going to be okay…everything is going to be okay, just try to keep calm !" he said and kissed her cheek, Alex was glad to have him by her side, even though he was the silly one of them he managed to keep a clear head in such situations. ,,Andy just called he's going to be here any moment so I can stay with you !".

In this Moment Doctor Taylor, the midwife and another nurse stepped in, ,,Hello I'm Doctor Tayler !" the elderly women introduced herself, and quickly shook hands.

"Could you please tell me that everything is alright ?" Dr. Taylor nodded and started to examine her too, she then looked at the midwife ,,Did the heart beat change ?" ,,Yes, rapidly in the last couple of minutes" ,,Moving ?" ,,Normal but he starts to move less " ,,Hand me the gel and the convex probe " Alex groaned in pain of another strong contraction.

After a short search Doctor Tayler had the little man on the screen and it didn't last long until she stopped and leaned to the nurse. "Okay…I'm sorry to say but we have some complications the umbilical cord laid itself several times around the neck of the Baby, we need to get him now via C-section to avoid a lack of oxygen and blood ". Alex starred a moment at her.

"W-what ? but he-he's alright now isn't he ? please tell me he's alright !".

"Yes he is for now and so this isn't going to change we are going to perform a C-section !" James kissed her hand and slightly pressed his forehead against hers.

"Everything is going to be okay Allie, I promise ! That's just…a little change of Plan !" he said and kissed her cheek.

"Mr. Blake because of the full narcosis you have to wait here " said the midwife and Alex squeezed his hand tight.

"Okay…hey it's okay ! Look at me ! Everything is going to be fine, I will wait here with Kitty and you'll see when you wake up, then our little boy will be there ! Okay ? I love you " he kissed her again, but Alex wasn't ready to let go of his hand, so he walked with them as far as he could.

Before the elevators he had to stop, "James ?...I'm scared" said Alex quiet before they rolled her into the elevators and before James could answer the doors already closed. He buried his face in his hands and then run his fingers through his hair, now that Alex couldn't see him he showed how worried he too was.

"Me to " he whispered at closed doors and then walked back to where his Daughter was waiting.

As she slowly woke up again, Alex could feel something warm beside her, when she looked down she could make out a little person with blonde hair, it was Kathrin ! She smiled and careful not to wake her, stroked over her head, before looked around the room.

"Look who woke up, it's your Mommy ! said James from the other side of her bed, in his arms was a blue bunch.

"Is he alright ? Is he healthy ?" she asked still little dizzy because of the narcosis, he carefully placed the bunch in her arms and for the first time, Alex saw her son.

"He is perfectly healthy and the C-section went well !" he said smiling "Just one thing's left " he said and Alex head shot up to look at him.

"What ?!".

"The name Honey, I named Kitty and now it's your turn !" she looked down at the tiny face of her son, who cooed pleased in his sleep.

"Ethan…Ethan Damon !" she said smiling and then first kissed Ethan and then James. She was truly happy with her husband, her daughter and now her son.

August 27. 2007

Alex was stood in the kitchen after she cooked the dinner and went into the living room where Kat sat on the sofa with Ethan in here arms, it was one of the rare moments in which he wasn't crying, because of his colic's, but luckily they started to fade.

"Kat could you lay the table please ?" asked Alex and took Ethan from her.

"Jep !" she then ran to the dining room. Alex was about to start breastfeeding him as there the doorbell rang. She laid Ethan in his playpen and went to open the door. When she opened it she saw that it were Andy and Markus colleagues of James and their friends and she could sense that something wasn't right.

"Andy, Markus ? What are you doing here ?" she asked without smiling, her heart began to race and she prayed that they were not going to tell her the one thing she feared since she and James married.

"Alex…I don't know how to say it…James…he had an accident on his way home…and he most likely did not survived it " said Markus as Andy couldn't say a word as James had been his best friend. Alex starred at them, and then shook her head,.

"No…no he…there must be a mistake…he's just late…he-no !" tears burned in her eyes, as she didn't believed her own words.

xxxxx

Every inch of her body was in pain, it felt like a ton laid on her chest, an ice cold hand had griped her heart tight and squeezed painfully and she couldn't breathe. She had curled up in a ball under her planked and cried silently in her pillow to neither wake Kat or Ethan. James was gone, she still couldn't believe it, how could she do this all on her own with two little Kid's ? she didn't know and she felt so lonely, so abandoned and beside her grief and her pain, she was angry, oh so angry, why her husband ? Why her James ?.

She had an unspeakable fury upon James and of course the ghost driver who forced James to avoid him, caused him to swing of the street, turn over and crash against a tree. She knew that the chance to survive this accident was more than low but why hadn't he been found ?...Why didn't he came back to her if he had survived ?.

"Mommy ?" Alex quickly whipped her tears away and looked up.

"Kathrin ? What is it ?" she asked, as an answer Kathrin closed the door and walked up to her.

"Can…can I sleep here to night ? I-" she stopped and Alex lifted the planked so Kat could crawl under it and snuggled close to her. Alex laid her arm around Kat and took her hand in hers. "I miss Daddy Momma " Kathrin said after a while, she pulled her a little closer and kissed her forehead.

"I know Honey…I miss him too, very much !" and instead of whipping her own tears away she whipped Kathrin's away, "But never forget how much your father loves you Sweetie " and Alex had to fight her own tears, while she stroked over Kat's hand with her thump. Suddenly Kat turned around and clutched tight on her mother and cried into her shoulder.

"I know it's hard Kat…but I promise everything is going to be okay again " said Alex while tears ran down her cheeks as well and she stroked over Kathrin's head until she has fallen asleep in her arms.

When Alex woke up the next morning Kat was still cuddled up next to her in bed, she ran her fingers over her face and placed a light kiss against her forehead, before she got up. She changed Ethan's diapers, dressed him and made it down stairs where someone was in her kitchen.

"Hello ?" she asked and saw that it was Christina, her best friend, neighbor, wife of Andy and mother of Kats best friend Joe her real name was Josephine but she hated the name, like Kat did too. "What are you doing here ?".

"I let myself in with our key " she answered and placed a mug of tea in front of her.

"We never gave you a key " answered Alex and narrowed her eyes at her.

"Yeah I know, you should find a better place to hide it " she than waved and Alex was confused, she then turned around and saw Miranda, another good friend of her, who was in her late twenties.

"Did I miss something ?" she asked and patterned Ethan's back as he began to whimper.

"No you didn't, give me the little cutie pie !" said Miranda and took Ethan into her arms.

"Alex, we have been talking and Darling…you are not alone, we all are to help you ! When you're ready to work again then I can take Ethan in and when you're not able to fetch Kat from school than Christi can do it !".

"We're here for you, you hear ? You don't need to do this all on your own !" said Christina and hugged her.

"You only need to say a word and we're here to help you! No matter what, we are going to stand by your side ".

For a moment Alex didn't know what to say. "Thank you, really I don't know how to do all of this alone ".

"No trouble at all Honey ! Come on, go upstairs wake Kat and we're going to have breakfast together " said Miranda. As Alex went upstairs to wake her daughter, she knew what great friends she had, who stayed by her side and helped her as much as they could.

June 14 2009

,,Well Thank you again Dr. Reid, that was a great lecture !" said Alex to the long haired man next to her as her students began to shuffle out of the auditorium.

"You can call me Spencer by the way !" he said and hold out his hand to her.

"Alex " she answered and shook his hand.

"And I think I have to say thank you too, it doesn't happen every day that a now famous authoress invites you to guest lecture !" she laughed.

"Now, we don't want to exaggerate a book about Linguistics isn't something someone would buy for an cozy evening in front of the fireplace !".

"I would-" he was interrupted by the sound of her ringtone. "I'm sorry, could you excuse me for a moment ?" he nodded and she answered her phone.

"Blake ?".

"Hey Alex it's Miranda ".

"Hey, what's up ?".

"What's up ? How about my Musical debut ? That's up !".

"Oh man…Miranda, I think I'm not able to make it ". "What ?! Why not ? Alex your one of my best friends ! You have to be there !".

"I know I'm sorry, but I can't leave Kat alone with Ethan and everyone I could ask is at your Musical debut !"

"She's eleven ! You don't have to stay all night !".

"I thought it ended at half past eleven ?".

"Yes…".

"I can't leave her alone for over three hours with her two year old brother ! I'm really sorry-"

"If you need someone I could watch them if you want !" interrupted Spencer, Alex turned around and looked at him with surprise.

"Oh…no ! Well, not no ! just-…no ! I don't know you really " Alex said slightly embarrassed to turn him down.

"Is that the cute Doctor I saw you with some weeks ago ? Take the offer !" But Alex already hung up, she chewed on her bottom lip.

"Your always on call for the FBI anyway aren't you ?".

"Ah…no I'm on vacation…forced vacation to be specific …but if you don't want me to watch them it's okay !" she glanced at her phone, Miranda would hold this against her forever. And he wasn't exactly a stranger, they've had had a some cups of coffee together and he was an FBI Agent for God's Sake !.

"Could you come over at eight ?".

Punctual at eight the doorbell rang.

"Kat !? Could you open the door ?" yelled Alex as she was still in the bathroom drying Ethan with a towel.

"Did you really had to play in my flowers today ?".

"It was fun !" Ethan cheekily grinned at her.

"Yeah I can imagine !" she dressed him in his pajamas and lifted him up and made her way down where Spencer was already waiting. Kat leaned at the stairs with her arms crossed over her chest.

"-Have you ever killed somebody ?".

"Kat ! stop asking people things like that ! I'm sorry if she was outrageous " said Alex and sent her a glance which clearly told her to behave.

"Oh no problem " he said ,,Well, that's my daughter Kat and my son Ethan " she said and let the boy slide from her waist.

"Well Kat ? Ethan needs to be in bed by nine and you're in bed by half past nine !"

"Yes, yes ".

"Okay, oh just one more thing, Ethan's pretty swift so make sure he's not going to steal something from that drawer…Sweets !"she added as he sent her a questioning look. "Okay…I try to come back as soon as possible yeah ? I love you Kat " she kissed her and Ethan goodbye.

"My number is next to the Phone if something happens call me !" said Alex and left.

Xxxx

,,My Mom was also an FBI Agent " said Kat as they finished her school project which should be finished by tomorrow, and that was why Alex didn't knew about it.

"I know-".

"Are you also an Professor ?".

"No I but sometimes I guest lecture, but mainly I'm with the FBI " Spencer answered and glued one side of the pyramid.

"Are you in love with my Mom ?" he looked at her with surprise.

"Wha- ?...N-no ".

"Then why are you here ?" asked Kat.

"Because me and your mom are friends and you help your friends if they need your help…and she is married to your dad isn't she ?" he said. Kat stopped smiling and lowered her head.

"No she's not…my Dad disappeared two years ago after an accident…I still hope he's alive, but mom said that if he was, he would have come back to us…" .

"I'm sorry…".

"We'll manage all right " said Kat and frowned.

"Oh no…you didn't leave the drawer with the sweets open did you ?".

"No…" he turned around and saw the little bench in front of the drawer.

After they chased Ethan through the hole house and finally managed to bring him into bed, it was eleven o'clock and both him and Kat were more than tired.

"I'm not going to tell your mom that you have been awake until now when you promise not to tell her that Ethan had some sweets".

"Deal…I'll go to bed and thank you for helping me with my school project !" said Kat and turned around half way up the stairs.

" I like you, you're pretty cool Spencer…Good Night !".

"Thanks Kat…Good Night !"

March 10. 2010

By now it was the most beautiful day of the year, sunny, warm not too hot and he wanted to be everywhere, but not here. He stood several feet away from the other people who were here, in front of him where maybe forty people who said there last goodbye to James F. Blake and still they wouldn't find closure as everybody knew that the coffin was empty.

He mostly saw Policemen honor a fallen companion, he saw an elderly couple most likely his parents and he could see a young man next to Alex, who looked like her brother. But he had only eyes for her.

She wore a black dress, her hair went a little past her shoulder, blades and were slightly curly, she had nothing in them, no black veil or something like that and it suited her better. She wasn't sobbing, he only saw how she hugged Kat tight, after a moment he himself felt watched, as his eyes searched through the crowd in front of him.

He saw that Kat looked at him between her mother's arm and chest, her brown eyes were red and filled with a sorrow which should never be seen in the eyes of an eleven year old girl. As the Ceremonies were over and the coffin was lowered into the ground, he heard how Ethan cried and swallowed the lump in his throat this cute little man would never know his own father everything he had now was his mother and sister.

As everyone started to walk away, Reid saw that the man, who looked like he could be Alex brother, took Ethan in his arms and laid one arm around Kat, only Alex was left at the fresh grave, he waited, but then decided to go to her. He laid a hand on her shoulder and she slightly flinched before she quickly turned around, her cheeks were soaked with tears.

"I-I didn't want them to see me like that-" she stopped, he knew she meant Kat and Ethan, one moment Spencer didn't know if he could or better said should hug her, but as she tried harder and harder not so cry out loud, he laid his arms around her. At first she only cried a little, but then all the pain and sorrow seemed to break out of her and he had to hold her on her legs. In this second he promised himself to never leave her alone, he knew she couldn't do this all on her own and he would help her, because they were friends…and his heart started to beat faster as he hugged her close.

July 12. 2012

After the second time he rang the doorbell, the door was opened by Kat,

"Hey Spencer ! Come in, Mom is still in the garden" she said and led him in, he followed her through the house and when thy stood in the garden, he saw Ethan and a friend who played in the little pool but Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Mom ! Stop hiding it's Spencer not Mr. Paxton !" Kat yelled and rolled her eyes as her mother stepped out behind the corner of the house.

"Thank god…you wouldn't believe that 3 rebuffs were enough to make it clear that I', in a relationship and that I don't want to go out with him !...Hi Spence !" Alex said with a smile and brushed some earth off of her cheek.

Before Reid could say something he was interrupted by Ethan.

"Uncle Spencer !" he had a big grin on his face and ran towards him so they could do a "High Five".

"Hi Ethan !".

"Are you going to stay for dinner ?" he asked and looked at his mother.

"When your mom allows it ?".

"Can he Mommy ? pretty pretty please ?" she rolled her eyes, as if she would ever say no when it was about Spencer.

"Sure, but now go and play with Hunter, in five minutes you have to come in, Hunters Mom is going to be here in twenty minutes ".

"Super Cool !" Reid laughed and looked at Kat.

"You haven't taught him more ?".

"Hey ! In one week he' s going to say super awesome and Holy Sh-". "

Stop teaching your little brother such words !" said Alex reproachful and hit Kat on the back of her head with her gloves. They then went inside and Reid leaned to Kat.

"If Ethan's able to say deoxyribonucleic acid in two weeks you'll get 50 dollars " Spencer whispered.

"Deal !".

"So why did you come over ? Not that I mind !" Alex asked as she took a sip of water.

"Well I want to bring you something, they wanted to send it to you but I said I would bring it to you personally " he then handed her the sealed letter, her eyes then widened in shock as she saw who sent the letter.

"Mom ? Everything alright ?" asked Kat.

"What does the FBI want from me ?".

"Read !" he said and gave her no chance to read the content of the letter off of his face, she opened the letter and with every line she got more shocked and leaned onto the kitchen counter.

"Am I dreaming ?" she asked and he shook his head.

"No, totally serious we want you to come back and work with me in my team " now also Kat's jaw dropped.

"They want you to work for them again ?!"

"What do you say ?".

"Have you something to do with this ? Because I said I would like to work with you again ?" he scratched the back of his head.

"Well…no, you have been under the top three from the beginning but maybe I recommended you a little bit ".

"I-I don't know…I can't leave Kat and Ethan alone for two to five days " she said.

"Yes you can Mom ! I'm not alone, I have Christina, Andy and Miranda to help me and I'm not eleven but fourteen, you told me that you want to work active for the FBI again ! Now you have the Chance ! Don't say no because of me and Ethan I don't want you to regret one day that you stayed home" said Kat and Alex laid down the letter to hug Kat tight, before she took her face into her hands.

"Never ever say something like that again okay ? I would never regret staying here with you, yes I miss my old job but you two are the most important and wonderful things in my life Kathrin ! And I'm going to tell you now that you or Ethan can say anytime that you want me to come back and quit ! And I'm going to do it, you say now that it's okay, but maybe someday you want me to come home again" Alex kissed her forehead and Kat grinned at her ,,Okay I promise ".

"So does it mean you're going to say yes ?" asked Reid, who had watched the scene between Alex and Kat with a smile, of course he knew how much she loved Kat and Ethan, but the chance to work with her was really compelling.

"Okay…I'll say yes !" Alex said full of anticipation. She didn't how much her life would change because of this job.

First chapter, write a comment and tell me if you liked it !

Crazy


	2. The Start

Chapter 1

"… So ! This means that, if there are little spaces between words in a Document the writer is either angry, if his actual writing style changed or he is mentally unstable, understood ?... Kyle I recommend you to turn your attention back to the reading instead of trying to break your "Angry Birds" record !" said Alex and some of the other students were chuckling, while Kyle's cheeks turned red. Alex wanted to say something when her cell phone vibrated. She looked on the display and saw that it was her reminder of Ethan's soccer game.

"Okay that was my cue…read the next three chapters until tomorrow !" a murmur of disapproval went through the room.

"Hey in my college years, I had to read way more than three chapters and I had to elaborate them so be happy ! Besides the fifth chapter has only six pages and no comments about my college time being over for half a century which is not true " said Alex as she shouldered her bag.

"Was that a new Case Professor Blake ?" asked Claire interested.

"Yeah I saw you on the news a couple weeks ago that was pretty cool !".

"Thanks Jonathan but that's not going to help your grade, and that wasn't a new Case that was my reminder of my sons soccer game, because when I'm going to miss that I, better said you got a big problem " answered Alex.

"Why is that our problem ?".

"Because then I have to make it up, then there is no time for me to prepare for your course and then you have to read seven chapters over the weekend…and you'll have to elaborate them !" with that Alex was out the door and hurried over the campus to her car. She was lucky and made it just in time to see the kickoff, she searched the stands and Christina waved at her.

"What are you doing here ? it was my turn to drive" asked Christina as Alex sat down beside her.

"Hello to you too, I'm here because Ethan was really angry with me when I missed his last game, and since I'm here, I thought I would come by ".

"Ah, okay…but where is your "Soccer Moms" Pullover ?" they both almost broke down trying to stifle their laugher, Alex shook her head.

"I got that thing and it went straight down the basement "

"The cat uses it as a pillow " stated Christina as they continue to watch the game, they loved to mock about those "Super Mommy's" they were surrounded by, all in blue "Soccer Moms" Pullovers.

"Oh you gonna like this ! Have you already seen Cynthia ?" asked Christina.

"No…should I ?" Christina leaned back so Alex could see the woman with the obvious wrong nose and now also bad silicon lips ,,Oh my God…that's not true is it ? Dreams really do come true !" smirked Alex.

"I know ! It looks awful ! This day can't get any better !" said Christina with a dreamy expression on her face, she was still angry at Cynthia because she told her, that she too could use a visit at her beauty doc.

"So did Joe tell you what the two had been up to last weekend ?" asked Alex as she stole a sip of the coffee Christina had brought.

"No she kept quiet…what about Kat ?" but Alex shook her head.

"No Chance". In this moment Ethan shot a goal and the two cheered like the rest, she saw how he searched for her in the crowd and when he found her, Alex threw him an air-kiss and held both her thumps up.

"How much longer do we have to sit here ?" mumbled Christina as she laid her head on Alex shoulder, who poked her in the ribs. "You're a great mom you know that ?"

"I know, but seriously look at them ! There ! Mathilda-…I can't understand this ! Is she stoned or what ?" they laughed and watched Mathilda as she cheered at her son, her blue "Soccer Moms" Pullover laid over her shoulders, so everyone could see here Steven Fan-Shirt and with the "Soccer Moms" Hat she had on, she looked just ridiculous.

"Believe me I am so happy you're here, or else I couldn't guarantee for anything !".

"I know, you're already freaking out when you have to throw a birthday party !" said Alex.

"That's not my fault, they always think they have to mother their Children, as if I'd lock them in the garage with some kibble" grumbled Christina.

When the Team of their sons finally won, Alex and Christina waited a little apart from the others for the three boys, who quickly came over to them, Alex hugged Ethan tight and Christina laid her arms around Fabian and Ryan.

"Did you see how I shot the goal Mommy ? Did you ?!" Ethan grinned brightly at her.

"Of course I have that was a super goal !" and smiled proudly at him before they all together made it to the cars.

"Mom can I later go over to play with Fabian and Ryan ?" Alex looked at Christina who just shrugged

" 'Course he can "

"Okay at home you'll shower and then you can go over".

"Shall we drive by at the High School ? Kat's lessons are almost over " asked Alex as she drove out the parking area.

"Yes !".

"Okay, to the High School it is".

When they got there, the bell just rang. Alex and soon Ethan got out of the car and waited there for Kat, when they saw her she was already half way to the bus station.

"Kat !...Kat " the second time Kat turned around and Alex waved, a smile spread across Kats face as she and her friends came back.

"Hey Mom ! What are you doing here ?" Kat asked and kissed her mother cheek, "Hey Shorty !" she then ruffled through her little brothers hair but immediately took her hand back as his hair was a little sweaty.

"I was at Ethan's Soccer game and afterwards we thought we could stop by and give you guys a ride home ? What do you say, Freddy, Joe and…?" she looked at the boy beside Joe she didn't knew, he was tall, had blonde hair and slight shabby clothes.

"Cool thanks Alex " said Joe grinning.

"No thank you Mrs. Blake, Chris and I here are going check out the new game store in the Mall !" the two boy's then said their goodbyes to the girls and they all got into the car.

"Hey Kat, do you know what ?! We won and I shot one of three goals !" Ethan said proud.

"Hey cool ! I told you, you could do it !" Kat grinned at him.

"Did my two heroes also managed to shoot a goal ?" asked Joe.

"No, Fabian played only defense and Ryan got changed in really late, after Paul was fouled by Grant " he explained.

"Well…at least you shot one High Five !".

"Under the shower with you !" Alex said as she opened the door and Ethan ran up the stairs.

"How was school today ?" asked Alex as Kat took a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Nah it was okay, how was the reading ?".

"Like always ".

"So…when are we finally meeting the rest of your team ?".

"Oh not again Kat ! I thought we went through this often enough ! I'll introduce you when the time is right, but I can't take the two of you to a bar…and I want them to get to know you personally !" stated Alex.

"What about the Grill party Rossi throws tomorrow ?" asked Kat.

"Since when is Rossi throwing a Grill party ? Nobody-…who called and when ?" she asked her daughter a little annoyed.

"Yesterday, his name was Morgan, he said that tomorrow Rossi would throw a Grill party at seven thirty and you are invited…and you should bring a salad " Kat looked eagerly at her mother.

"Seems like I have to call Rossi if I can bring two other people over " then suddenly Kat stepped forward laid her arms around Alex's waist and buried her face in her shoulder, a little surprised Alex hugged her back.

"What have you been up to ?" she asked suspicious.

"Nothing ! I felt like hugging you " mumbled Kat.

"You know…its day and somebody could see how your hugging your mother !" Kat giggled but her arms didn't loose around her.

"I know and I don't care…I love you mom " she whispered and Alex kissed her forehead.

"I love you too sweetheart ".

She spent the rest of the day preparing her lecture and doing the laundry.

"Kat ! KAT !" yelled Alex ineffectual and was not for the first time peeved about the loud grunge music in Kats room, which made any try's to get her attention useless. When she opened the door to her room, she saw Kat sitting in the middle of the room on a pile of clothes, doing her homework while being filled with the sound of "Hey" by the Pixies. Generally it looked like a bomb went off in her room, beginning with her walls which were full of posters, photos, and other things like a green ukulele, her drawer, which was full of Joes drawings and things they both cut out of their favorite magazines, seemed to be empty.

"Kat !" finally Kat noticed her and looked up before she turned the music off.

"What's up ?".

"Could you help me with the dinner ? And after that, you're going to clean your room young Lady, or there is no Grill party at Rossi's for you !" said Alex while she tugged the top off of the guitar beside her.

"Okay, but I'm doing my German class homework what the hell is the simple past form of "lassen" ?" she asked, Kat inherited her interest in Languages and she was already pretty good, she could speak Spanish, German, French and Dutch though she still wasn't able to speak German and Dutch fluent.

"Hmm let me see " Alex looked at the sentence Kat wrote ,,Ich werde sie gehen lassen…so then it's ließ ! Ich ließ sie gehen " Alex said in German.

"Thanks Mom".

"No problem and you spelled "Wand" wrong that's supposed to be an a not an ä ".

"Thanks again " she quickly corrected her mistakes and followed her down.

Kat laid the tabled and then helped her mother to slice the vegetable for dinner.

"Is Ethan home yet ?".

"Don't think so…should I go over and get him ?" asked Kat but in that moment the front door opened.

"I'm home" called Ethan as he closed the door.

"Kitchen " Kat answered immediately.

"Wash your hands and then come to eat, Dinner's ready !" said Alex and Ethan ran out the Kitchen again. As they ate the phone rang and Alex got up, this had to be Rossi because she couldn't reach him when she had phoned him earlier.

"Blake ?".

"Hello Alex this is Rossi, you phoned earlier ?" he asked.

"Yes, I wanted to know if I could bring someone over tomorrow ?"

" 'Course you can, do we know the lucky one ?" she could almost heard him grin.

"No Rossi not a lucky one but-"

"A she ?! Wow Blake know I am surprised ".

"Rossi let me finish the sentence ! It's also not a she ! God, you're not married and you're not showing boyfriends to everyone does already mean you lesbian ? I meant my Kids Kat and Ethan !".

"Oh ! So we are finally going to meet them ? Great yeah of course you can bring them over… I think Jacks coming too, so he has someone to play with " ,,great thanks- oh and is tomato salad okay ?".

"Tomato salad sounds good we'll see each other tomorrow !".

"Yes, bye ".

,,Mommy I'm ready are you coming ?" asked Ethan he stood in the doorway to the living room in his superhero pajama, Alex looked up from the book she was read on the couch.

"Did you brush your teeth ?".

"Yes !".

"Have you been on the toilet ?".

"Yes !"

,,Did you pick out a book ?".

"Jap !"

"Did you say good night to Kat ?" asked Alex as she laid her book aside.

"Nope !" said Kat behind Ethan, kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair

"Night Shorty !"

"Don't call me Shorty !" he pouted.

"Come on let's tuck you in " said Alex quick before the two could start argue again and gently pushed Ethan to the stairs. They got into his room and laid down together in his bed.

"Do you want to read ? or shall I ?".

"Hmm…you !" said Ethan and snuggled close to her.

"Okay where were we…?".

"Well, for today we've finished !" said Alex and laid the book aside.

"You didn't tell how school was today ?"

"It was okay, we made a sculpture out of papier-mâché and Jimmy glued all the pages of his exercise book together !" giggled Ethan.

"Really ? Oh Miss Cobb didn't like that did she ?".

"No she was really angry…and Ian was mean to me today".

"What ?... Why ?" asked Alex.

"He said that I wasn't allowed to come to his birthday party because I have no Dad " for a moment she didn't know what to say, she knew that now the time began when it would become even harder for Ethan to grow up without a real father and that wasn't easy for him.

"That was really mean, do you want me to talk to his mom about that ?".

"No…I only wanted to go because we would've visited the Baseball stadium ".

"We're going to see what we can do about it tomorrow alright ? I love you so so much Ethan " she whispered and laid her forehead against his, before she gave him a kiss, "You know that don't you ?".

"I know, I love you too Mommy !" and it didn't last long before he felt asleep.

Alex snuck out his bedroom and quietly closed the door. Before she went down she peeked into Kats room and immediately had to laugh, Kat danced around her room, cleaning up , with her IPod plugs in so she didn't hear her laughing. Alex waited until Kat finally noticed her and jumped in shock.

"Mom !" she said reproachfully and her cheeks turned a dark shade of red, while Alex laughed.

"You should work on your turns !" she said and Kat turned even redder, if possible.

"Don't go to bed so late okay ?" Alex asked as Kat picked up a bra.

"M'kay, Mom ! could you drive me to school tomorrow ?".

"Do I have to ?...okay, but only when your able to get your lazy butt out of bed, I'm not going to wait for you !" she then closed the door and went down stairs, she meanwhile opened the wine until Spencer was here.

She was half asleep on the couch, when there was a knock on the door, this could only be Spencer, as he was the only one who never rang the doorbell after Ethan went to bed, so he wouldn't wake him up. Alex got up and opened the door

"Hi Spencer !" she greeted him and let him step in side.

"Hello Alex " he set his beg beside hers and they walked into the living room.

"So ? what did you do today ?she asked and filled their glasses.

"Nothing much, I brought myself some books on Philosophies and Politic theories ".

"And ?" she asked no one else would've cared but she did, she liked when he told her about it.

"I don't think some of the theories are matured but beside that it was quite interesting".

She smiled, she didn't know why but when they were alone he was…different.

"What is it ?" asked Reid, but she only shook her head "Nothing" they chinked glasses and nipped at them in silent.

"How was your day ?" she sighed and took another sip of her glass.

"Can't complain, I made it to Ethan's soccer game, then we picked up Kat and well…the rest of the day was pretty unspectacular ".

He looked close at her and knew immediately that something bothered her.

"Alex…I know you so long, I know when you're trying to hide something, you always brush your hair behind your right ear and you never last in eye contact…what is it ?" he asked. I had never been making sense to try to hide something from him, sooner or later, mostly sooner he found out.

"What am I doing wrong Spence ?" she asked and pulled her legs up at her chest.

"What do you mean ?".

"Today, a friend of Ethan told him that he wasn't allowed to come to his birthday because he has no father…he needs a father, not just because of things like that but…I'm not enough anymore, Kurt was the first one he saw as a father figure, well he was the first one he really knew that he was my boyfriend and when he left me…you should have seen his face…I think it was even worse for him than for me" she said as she stared into the nothing.

For a Moment he didn't knew what to say, then something like anger started to rose in him, because that son of a bitch had left her liked that, only because she didn't want to move to Boston with him, but maybe it wasn't anger but jealousy ? That he had been able to make her happy ? That he had been a father figure of Ethan ? No ! What nonsense !.

"Alex, don't blame yourself ! He wasn't the right one, because if he was he wouldn't have taken the offer or he wouldn't have been giving you only one choice to come with him, which would have been also a bad idea because of Kat and Ethan, or break up with him ! If you ask me he was a complete Idiot to leave you ! You are a great woman, with to wonderful kids every man could be lucky to call his family !" he realized too late what he said. But Alex only smiled thankfully at him.

"Thank you Spencer !".

"I would tell Ethan that you would go with him, but I know that you're not a fan of baseball even though you hit that Homerun ! Do you think Morgan would go with him, if I asked him tomorrow ? I mean it's a free trip into the Baseball stadium ".

"Of course he would " he said even though he wanted to say that he would love to go with Ethan. She laid her head onto his shoulder and sighed.

"Do you think they will like them ? God, they are going to hate me for this !".

"They are going to love them like everybody else does ! And once you explained why you never even talked about the two, they'll understand, you're a mother whose daughter was kidnapped an taken for 71 hours, it's understandable that you're not going to tell everyone about them especially in our job and when they know how Kat was able to be kidnapped…".

She took her glass again and drank her whine before leaning back, in this moment "Creep" by Radiohead started to play in the radio and Spencer glanced unobtrusive at her out of the corner of his eye. This song just matched perfectly to what was going through his head. In this moment he too didn't know what the hell he was doing here and why he was thinking like that about Alex, but he enjoyed her present beside him, and no words needed to be said as he also leaned back.

It didn't last long before Alex laid her head on his shoulder again and now he laid his on hers. The sweet scent of her hair and the fresh, fruity note of her perfume rose to his nose, she never wore much perfume, it was always just a waft which surrounded her. He closed his eyes and carefully so she wouldn't notice, breathed her in. –I really am a weirdo and a creep !- he thought.

-Stop it ! Stop it, stop it, stop it !- she though over and over again as she leaned into him again, but with every second she wanted to be closer, she enjoyed his warmth on her cheek and the smell of old books, which they both preferred, tea and his own tangy, sweet scent. She slightly turned her head so, that her nose was buried in the soft fabric of his cardigan and she could only breathe him in.

It was funny how everyone had his own smell, James had always smelled like a…sunny morning when it had rained all night, Kurt had something of a sea breeze on a hot beach, even though he would often wear that overpowering aftershave plus the constant note of a hospital, but Spencer…she felt protected, secure like she sat cozy and warm in front of a fireplace with some tea and an old book. –I wish I was special enough for him -.

One moment she herself was surprised were that thought came from and then she quickly sat up, to pour herself again some whine. They talked long about different theories, chases and studies until Alex was really tired, after all she hadn't slept much the night before and it was one o'clock in the morning, when she had to, she could stay up long without sleep (though it wasn't a good idea to talk to her before she hadn't had at least one cup of coffee) but if she had a long day, there was nothing better than her comfortable bed.

"If you want you can stay, the guestroom is set " she said as she put the glasses in the sink.

"No thanks I'm going home, we'll see each other tomorrow !" he said and took his bag, she smiled.

" 'Course, see you " she locked the door behind him and stood there for a moment, not knowing that Spencer did the same on the other side of the door. -What the hell is wrong with me ?!- they both thought and Alex went up the stairs to go to bed.

**AN:**

**Well that was the first Chapter ! This is set between "Nanny Dearest" and "#6" which I switched so in the this story "#6" comes before "Nanny Dearest" and an other little note ! Spencer is older ! 36 and Alex is 41 (you don't know how old she really is so I just picked what seemed best for me :D ). Go to my profile if you want to know how the rest of my OC's look like !.**

**And last note I got a beta read which still needs to look over it so the mistakes are going to disappear, I just couldn't wait to upload it ^^**

"lassen"/ "ließ" = let

"Ich werde sie gehen lassen" = I will let her go

"Ich ließ sie gehen" = I let her go

"Wand" = Wall


	3. Wrong Move ?

Wrong Move ?

"Kat! Get down here now!" Alex yelled for the second time within the past few minutes. She stormed upstairs and sighed when she saw that Kat was still lying in bed.

"Get up Kat! Now! I have to go in ten minutes, I thought you wanted me to drive you to school today?!".

"Only five more minutes," Kat muttered into her pillow, but Alex pulled the blanket off of her daughter and opened the curtains.

"Oh Man," Kat grumbled and sat up.

She shuffled past her mother and down the stairs to pour herself some Coffee.

"Good morning Kat!" Ethan said happily as he placed his empty bowl of cornflakes in the sink.

"Morning Shorty," She mumbled. Even though she was only fifteen, it was clear that she was "a little bit" addicted to coffee, just like her mom. Before Ethan could answer Alex came in and interrupted him.

"We're going now, you're going to have to get the bus!" "M'kay bye Mom," She kissed her cheek and ruffled to her little brother's hair.

When her mother and brother left, Kat took her cup, went upstairs again, searched for her cell, and then dialed a number. "What's up Kitty Kat?" A tired voice answered after the third ring.

"Hey Chris, you sound like you haven't slept again?" She asked a little worried about her best friend.

"Ah well…no actually I never went to bed, but that's not important what do you want?"

"I thought that maybe…you could take me to school with you? Pretty, pretty please?" Kat asked. It was silent for a few moments before Chris answered.

"Course I'll get the car and be at yours in fifteen minutes!" He said and Kat smiled.

"Thanks Chris,"

"No problem." She then got dressed in her tight Jeans which were ripped at the knees, a t-shirt with Kurt Cobain on it and an old flannel shirt, which she wore over her T-shirt. She also put on her old chucks. Kat looked in the mirror and decided that she looked acceptable to go out before she stopped and ran her fingers through her blond hair. She looked like a younger version of her mother but with golden blond locks instead of chestnut brown. She was proud of the look she had inherited from her mother and father.

The doorbell rang as Kat grabbed her backpack and ran down stairs to open the door, in the door stood Chris smiling at her. She ignored her heart as it jumped and smiled back. "Hi just a sec!" She said as she put away the dishes and locked the door before getting into his car.

"So did you finally tell your mom about you and Toby?" He asked during the ride.

"He got angry again, didn't he ?".

"Yep…" She sighed with an annoyed tone.

"I will tell her about him when I think it's the right time! I just don't know how she'll react…she didn't know my other three boyfriends before him!"

"How long had you been dating them? Three weeks at the most?!"

"Chris !"

"Sorry…just tell him that you're scared!" Chris said as he parked inside the school.

"I did," Kat mumbled.

"And what did he say?"

"He laughed at me and said that it was bullshit and everyone liked him," She said as she got out and gave him no chance to answer.

Kat was about to walk inside when strong arms pulled her back, and into a warm chest which smelled like a mix between wood, something sweet she couldn't define, and cigarettes. It was probably from Drakes music studio/bar basement where he had spent the night

"Hey, I'm Toby's best friend and sometimes he talks complete shit, so don't listen to him okay?" Chris said but Kat was still too surprised to answer, she was feeling butterflies in her stomach when he hugged her like that. He was her boyfriend's best friend!.

"Thank you Chris…" "Hey! The two of you get your butts in the classroom; the lesson started!" Yelled a teacher and the two quickly ran inside but not without laughing their asses off. They were lucky, as it seemed their teacher was late too. Kat strolled to her seat beside Joe in the last row and Chris sat down in front of Joe.

"Bet you five dollars that Freddy's going to be late by 4 minutes!" Chris said.

"Three "

"Hmm…I say five," Kat replied. As Mr. Aldona started the lesson the three eagerly waited for their friend to arrive. After four damn minutes the door opened and Freddy stumbled in, excused himself for being late and sat down two seats in front of Kat. Chris turned around and grinned at the two girls, who grumbled and each of them gave him five dollars as he stuck his tongue out at them and wiggled his eyebrows.

Kat spent the rest of the day writing some notes and played tick tack toe with Joe. At break she made out with Toby, who wasn't in her class, and slowly Kat was starting to become glad about that. Then the day was over for them, the reason why was because, for the last semester, they were allowed to leave after fourth lesson on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. They decided to go to the mall.

"God… geography with Mr. Rents is boring as hell! I'm going to drop it next year!" Joe said.

"Haven't you been saying that since last year?" Freddy asked.

"Yeah…but you have to admit, that guy is fucking creepy! Hello? Somebody who spends his free time collecting stamps and building ships in bottles can't be normal! It's a miracle that your mom isn't investigating him because he has corpses in his basement, full of stamps and with bottles which have little ships in them stapled all over them!" She said. Freddy and Chris shared a worried and questioning glance while Kat shook her head.

Half an hour later they sat in the corner of a coffee shop in the Mall. Freddy, Kat and Chris all had a coffee while Joe drank a sugar free Milkshake because nobody wanted to be near her when she had too much caffeine or sugar in her system. After a while Chris noticed that Kat was only fumbling with the paper ring around her cup, like she always did when something bothered her.

"Hey, ya alright?" He asked.

"Oh it's nothing," Kat replied as she smiled, but her friends all knew that something was not right.

"What's up Kat?" Freddy asked "Come on, we can all see that something is off Kat!" Joe said.

"Well… A colleague of my mom is throwing a grill party tonight and my brother and I are invited."

"Wow…I thought no one knew she had you guys?" Freddy asked.

"No well…they know she had kids…At least I think so, but they probably don't even know our names. Since Dad and my abduction, let's say she doesn't like talking about her private life at work."

"I'm just a little nervous. What if they don't like us or don't even want us to be there?"

"That's never gonna happen Kat! I don't know anybody who doesn't like you or your brother! They'll like you for sure." Joe said.

"She's right!" Chris said as he took her hand in his, "Mom and Spence always say how great they all are…I- I want them to like us. I don't want Mom to be ashamed of me and Ethan…"

"Kat! Stop talking such bullshit! Your Mom is like my second Mom. I've known her since I was little and she would rather be hated by the whole world, than be ashamed of one of you!" Joe replied and in moments like this, Kat knew why she was her best friend.

"Thanks guys," They just smiled back at her. She bought herself a new DVD and then Chris drove them all home. Joe got out but Kat stayed behind. "You wanna come in for a moment?" She asked hopefully.

"Ah, no better not… Toby's coming!" He said and pointed back, "Oh…yeah, well okay…see ya." She got out and watched as he drove away. Kat turned around and looked at Toby.

"You could have at least changed into some jeans!" She said as she saw that he was still wearing his dirty Football clothes.

"Hello to you too," He said as he kissed her "But then I wouldn't be here!" He added.

When Kat had closed the door, two arms wrapped around her and turned her back a little coarser then needed. He gave her no time to say something as his lips already crushed down on hers. After sometime she pushed him away because she couldn't breathe and he would just not let go of her!

"Toby let me breath in between!" She said and he just rolled his eyes.

"Come here," Toby pulled her back to him and kiss her again this time a little softer.

Soon afterwards, his hands started to wonder under her shirt, which wouldn't have been a problem if he didn't try to reach for the clasp of her bra. She tried to stop him but he wouldn't let go.

"Toby…Toby-please stop…No-Toby ! Toby ! Stop now!" Kat yelled as she tried to push him away with all her strength.

"Holy shit! What's wrong with you?!" He yelled as Kat flinched away from him.

"I don't want this! I've told you before!"

"We've been dating for over four months now!" Kat stared at him.

"And? Is there now a timeline in which you have to have sex?!"

"Yeah, it was two months ago!".

"If you only want a chick to fuck then you'll have to search for another girlfriend!" Kat screamed at him and pointed to the door.

"Kat…Babe please I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" He said as he placed his hand under her chin so she would look up to him.

"I'm really sorry…but sometimes I get that feeling that you don't think that I'm taking this seriously…and that you are ashamed of me…"

"How could you think something like that?" Kat asked.

"Well…you don't want me to meet your mother!" She rolled her eyes.

"I told you a million times that has nothing to do with you!".

"Okay…are we alright again?" When she looked into his eyes, Kat didn't see his brown one, but the light blue ones of someone else she knew. They weren't alright.

"Yeah…we're alright."

"Kat I'm home, and whose bike is that outside?" Alex called as she stepped through the front door. She went into the living room and saw Kat with a boy in a football tricot sitting on the couch.

"That's Toby's bike Mom," Kat stood and gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek.

"I gave him the biology homework from yesterday when he wasn't in school."

"Ah…Hi Toby," Alex said. There was something about that boy she didn't like.

"Hello, ah yeah…thanks for the homework and the glass of water." He said and stood too.

"You're welcome."

"It was nice to meet you Mrs. Blake…" He said and left. When Kat closed the door and turned around again Alex narrowed one eyebrow.

"Toby huh?".

"Mom!".

"I said nothing. Could you hang the laundry while I make lunch?" Kat groaned annoyed.

"Do I have to?".

"If you want to go to the party," answered Alex

"That`s blackmail!".

"I'm an FBI Agent, I know what blackmailing is thank you, now go!" Kat mumbled something under her breath which would have caused her two weeks of grounding.

"What was that?" Alex asked.

"Nothing!" Kat quickly responded as she rushed away from her mother.

When Kat came back up from the basement again, she saw that her mother was talking to someone on the phone.

"Yes, I'll be there as fast as I can…" Kat saw her face and could read one thing on it, work.

She went into the kitchen without looking at her mother any further and sliced the vegetables her mom had left unfinished. Well, Rossi's party was down the toilet. Sometimes her mum's job sucked!.

"Kat I-"

"I have to go. We've got another case. I'm sorry; I'll back as fast as possible! Take care of Ethan and tell him that I have to work. If something happens go over to Christina or Miranda, I love you! I know the line and I'm going to tell Ethan you had to go. I'm going to manage everything, whilst you're at work. Just do me and yourself a favor, take your bag and just go, okay?!" Kat snapped as she turned off the stove and tried to walk past Alex.

Kat had nothing against her mother's job. Kat was even pretty proud to be able to say that her mother was an FBI Agent, but that didn't make her any less scared for her every time she knew her mum was going out into the field. She was her mother! Kat had no one beside her anymore. She was scared that her mother wouldn't come home again, every time she left on a case.

Sometimes Kat found herself wishing that her mum was just a Professor. However she knew how much this work meant to her mom, and how long it took her to get back where she was now. That's why Kat would never say anything, even though every time she left, there was a huge fight between the fear of losing her mother and her sanity. Kat knew that her mother wouldn't be happy if she had to give up the job she loved almost as much as she loved her children. Sanity won…always even if it hurt.

"Kathrin!" Alex stood in her way and forced Kat to look at her.

"I'm really sorry that I have to go and that the party isn't going to happen…I know you are excited to meet them all!" She said.

"Yes but you have to go, so go…" Kat turned out of her hands and went upstairs in her room, immediately loud music could be heard. Alex sighed and went upstairs to get her fresh "to go bag". As she walked past Kat room, she tried again and knocked loudly.

"Kat ? I'm going now…I love you." She waited but the only answer she got was the volume of the music which increased. She gave up and went downstairs and got out to her car. On days like this she hated herself for leaving, but she couldn't stop! That was her weak spot, she would do anything for her children but as long as they didn't say anything, about not wanting her to work with the FBI anymore, she wouldn't stop working.

(Case "Nanny Dearest" )

As they landed, Alex's goodbye was probably even shorter than JJ's, but in that moment she didn't care, all she cared for was going back home and being with her kids. She quickly turned down the offer from Rossi to go over to his place and drink and play a few games and made it down to the parking areas. She never saw the small smile Reid gave her as she hurried over to the elevators.

"What's up with them both?" Morgan asked as the men group plus Garcia and, exceptionally, Erin made it to the elevators themselves.

"Well this case was nearly all about family and kids…that must have wrecked them," Hotch said.

"I understand it with JJ but Blake?" He asked again.

"Only because Kat is fifteen and Ethan's six, doesn't mean that she's not allowed to be touched. If a child in danger or in bad shape then it's often the motherly instinct which causes a woman to help or at least be touched. It doesn't even matter if the woman has children of her own, exceptions are-"

"Yes as our favorite genius babbled again, no lady wouldn't be not touched or wrecked by this case," Garcia interrupted.

"Don't you know what happened to Blake twelve years ago?" Strauss asked confused.

She thought that the team knew about Alex's daughter being kidnapped.

"No what do you mean?" Morgan asked interested.

He, Rossi and Garcia didn't know, in the corner of her eye she saw how Reid shook his head.

"Well it's definitely not my place to tell you if she didn't,"

"Okay…doesn't matter right now. Let's go and empty my good wine collection!" Rossi replied as the group bundled into the elevator.

Alex quickly pulled into her driveway, rushed out of her car and hurried over to the front door. Behind the curtains of the living room she saw the faint shining of the one light Kat always left burning in case Alex came home late. She unlooked the door and placed her bag on the floor before she made it into the living room. What she saw made her smile; Kat and Ethan were cuddled together on the sofa, both asleep. She slowly made it to the sofa and carefully, not to wake them, sat down beside them. She stroked over Ethan's head and kissed his forehead, he gave a pleasant sound and snuggled closer to his sister, her hand wandered further and carefully stroked a strand of her blonde hair behind Kats ear. In the same moment Kats eyes flew open but as soon as she realized who was beside her she closed them again.

"You're Home…" She mumbled and smiled, her eyes were still closed.

"Yeah…did you wait for me?".

"Mhm-Hmm…Mom, I'm so sorry that I said all of that to you when you left. It was totally stupid! At the very least I should have said goodbye." She muttered tiredly.

Alex smiled at Kat and kissed her cheek. "There's nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart."

"Yes there is! I've missed you Mom," She said quietly.

"I know I've missed you too. You can't imagine how much I've missed you both… Come on, go to bed Honey. I'm taking Ethan," Alex said as she lifted her son up and carried him up to his bed.

As she closed the door, Kat approached her and hugged her tight. "I love you…" She whispered and Alex kissed her, and took her face into her hands.

"I love you too more than anything else in the world! Now go to bed." Kat nodded and closed the door to her bedroom. Alex went down to collect her bag and but before she reached it her cell phone rang again, -Show mercy over them if I have to come back! - She thought but then saw that it was Spencer who called her.

"Hello?".

"Hey Alex it's me Spencer I…I just wanted to check up on you, everything alright?" He asked.

In the background she could hear loud laughing, "Yes it's alright, are you already drunk?" She asked.

"No…maybe Garcia a little but beside that we're okay and they're playing a game but I got bored…" She gave a little laugh.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" She asked.

"Yes…well I wondered if I sho- could go over to yours?" He asked.

"If you want to, but I won't be able to hold any demanding discussion. " He chuckled.

"I don't want that, I just want to-…well I think I'll be able to be at yours in twenty minutes."

"Okay bye, " She hung up and stared at her cell for another minute. Why did she say yes? She was more than tired! Reid, of all people, would have understood. But she said yes and a rapidly growing part of her was happy about that. In his presence she could be who she was, let the mask fall and be free, show her feelings! '_But you're not showing him what you are feeling for him!_' A tiny voice in her head said. '_She felt nothing more than friendship towards him! She wasn't allowed to feel more, was she? No! He was her colleague, and he was much younger and too involved with her kids. Would she risk it for them to lose their uncle! But they needed a father and not an uncle._'

Alex shook those thoughts away and went to the kitchen to pour herself a large glass of Scotch, which she emptied in one shot. She filled the glass again and also filled a glass of wine for Spencer, before she made it to the couch and sat down. She took another sip of the Scotch and enjoyed the burning sensation it left in her throat. This case painfully reminded her of her daughter's kidnapping. 71 hours of hell in which she didn't know how her Baby-Girl was doing, if she was okay and, most important of all, if she was still alive. Alex knew exactly what it was like for a mother if her child was taken. Every hour, every minute, every second was pure torture if you knew nothing.

Alex sat there alone, thought about the Case, and took a sip of her Scotch from time to time. Slowly she felt the alcohol doing its work. Maybe it was a good idea to eat something. The only thing she ate today had been an apple and a cup of coffee for breakfast, but she was too lazy to get up and search for something edible in the fridge right now. She took another sip of her Scotch as she heard a knock at the door. Alex got up and when she opened the door, the first thing she saw was a takeout bag from her favorite Thai Restaurant, which made her stomach jump in delight.

"I thought that maybe you needed something to eat too!" Spencer said, who grinned at her over the bag in his hand.

"You're my hero, Spence!".

As they ate the food he brought on the sofa and drank the wine or in Alex case the Scotch, she decided to break the silence between them.

"Why did you come over?"

"I'm coming over a lot." he answered quickly.

"Yes, but only if Kat needs 'IQ Spencer', or when one of us invites you, or if Ethan rather wants to go somewhere with you than with me or when you are in the need of a change of scene, or when you need to think about theories and what else… Damn you're here often." They both smiled but Reid quickly got serious.

"You know that you can always talk to me… don't you?" He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't alright, like she wanted everyone to believe she was.

"Yes, why?".

"I know how you're feeling Alex," Her smile faded as she put the box away, stared at her glass, and downed it with one gulp.

"You don't know how I'm feeling…" She said quietly.

"I do, when Maeve was abducted…".

"That's not the same Spencer… James disappeared too! God knows why, maybe he was abducted, maybe he just- hadn't the balls to leave me like everybody else would do. Over the years I've gone through every possible scenario, and it took me this long to just accept the fact that he's gone, and most likely dead. It was hard, but it was something you could manage. I've built my life with him and I was in love with him…but this love is something you can't compare to the love of a mother for her child! I went through 71 hours of hell when I didn't know if my only child was alive or not. What happened with James was nothing compared to this pain. You've donated your life to them ! Felt them inside of you for nine months! Given birth to them! You're responsible for them every day…I would go through the worst tortures this world knows to prevent them from any harm!" Alex kept talking without realizing what she said.

"Oh God, Spencer I'm so sorry!" She quickly said as she looked at him apologetically.

"It's alright," Reid said.

"No, it's not alright. I shouldn't have said something like that, I'm sorry!" He took her hand in his.

"I understand what you're feeling with regard to James. I know that I should get over what happened with Maeve… I'm trying to get over it!" He said.

"I saw that you talked to the parents a lot. You helped them a lot."

"I just told them what helped me too… The truth and that we are doing everything possible to find their daughter. Nobody can take away the fear until you're able to hold your child in your arms again…" Alex gently squeezed his hand.

"You can't push yourself to get over it when you aren't. You're only able to let go, when you're ready and we are all standing behind you Spence."

"I know…but I think I'm really getting over it!" His thumb stroked over the back of her hand as he looked deeply into Alex's teary eyes.

'_Go! Go away! Go to the kitchen, get yourself some water, put your food away… Just do something! You have to stop this before there is no turning back!_' Alex didn't know why she was scared like that. She wanted to kiss him, but they couldn't ignore it once it had happened. She was less scared of the fact that he would hurt her, but more that she would hurt him. She was good at that but she was also worried that she wasn't enough for him. He leaned closer to her and laid his right hand on her warm cheek, while she closed her eyes. _'What are you doing?! Stop it now; by doing this you'll destroy the one thing meaning anything on par with or better than your relationship Maeve. You've already destroyed what you had with her! Don't destroy what you have with Alex!_' A voice in Spencer's head shouted. However it got quieter with every millimeter he moved closer to her. Her pink, perfect lips were so close. They could both feel each other's breath on their lips as he closed his eyes.

Are they really going to kiss ?!

You'll see next time ;)

Crazy


	4. Are we Okay ?

Are we okay ?

Suddenly Alex turned her head away and laid her cheek on Reid's, so that her lips were at his ear.

"We shouldn't do this…I…I'm sorry…I'm not that good with scotch, I'll go upstairs…"

"No Alex, I should be sorry for do- trying this, I'll better go now,"

Reid got up and left before she could say a word. Alex buried her face in her hands and sighed, hopefully she hadn't destroyed the one thing that meant so much to her, especially after her husband had died. She cleaned up and took her bag upstairs, got changed and went to bed, only to fall into a restless sleep.

"Get up Mommy! Get up!"

That was how she was woken the next morning by Ethan. Immediately she sat straight up in bed only to be tackled back down into her pillow by her son, who jumped up at her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Good Moring Ethan," She said sleepily as she smiled at him.

"Come on Mommy get up!" He said and sent her his best ear to ear grin.

"Alright I'm up," Together they got out of her bed and Ethan quickly pulled her down the stairs, and she could already smell Coffee and Pancakes. They walked into the kitchen where Kat stood in front of the laid breakfast table.

"Welcome home Mom!" Kat said smiling.

"Come here," She opened her arms and embraced her son and daughter tight, and even fought off some tears. "That wasn't necessary sweetheart."

"Yes it was, 'cause we have the best mother in the world!"

"And I have the best children!" Alex answered and kissed Kat's cheek. "I picked the flowers for you." Ethan said proudly. She bent down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "They are beautiful, thank you!" They then sat down to eat together.

"Did everything go well, whilst I was away?" Alex asked,

"Yep, I woke Ethan, took him to school. I cooked, helped with his homework and so on…" Kat said as she poured herself some coffee. She "forgot" to tell her mum about the party she went to with her friends and where she got drunk and had smoked again. Alex then saw something new on her daughter and blinked before she looked again. On both of Kat's ears were new earrings, on her left one were a second earlobe piercing and a Helix, and on her right one were two new earlobe piercings.

"When exactly did you plan on telling me that you got your ears pierced four more times than I allowed you to?"

"Damn! I knew the Helix was too much…but I thought you as a Profiler would notice it earlier," Kat said with a smirk.

"I thought there was no need to pay such a close attention to your ears! Guess I was wrong…but stop now okay? Or else I'll glue your ears to your head!" Alex warned .

"Yeah, I think it's enough, for now."

Alex narrowed her eyes at that, Kat only giggled.

"Can I get something like that too Mom?" Ethan asked which made Alex stare at him.

"No!...When your older…maybe."

Ethan only grinned at that and Alex looked at Kat with her best "Stop getting such stupid ideas in the head of your little brother!" look, but the grin of her daughter only widened at that.

"I'm going to meet a couple of friends so you two have to do something on your own today…" Kat said.

"Okay what do you want to do today?" Alex asked as she looked at her son, who thought over it for a moment.

"Can we go to the park?"

"Sure, the park it is then!" She laughed as he threw his fists in the air.

After they cleaned the table together and got dressed, Alex took her clothes out of her to go bag and wanted to do the laundry. She didn't believe that Kat had washed anything, so she went to bathroom to collect the dirty clothes from there too. As she walked into the room, she walked into Kat, who flinched as she dried herself from the shower she had been taking.

"God Ma! Couldn't you knock?" She asked loud as she quickly covered her breasts with one arm, shocked that her mother walked into her liked that. Even though she was naked and that she wasn't making any appearance to leave! Her mother would be able to see the hickey at her neck, her navel and the worst one between her breasts.

"What? There is nothing I haven't seen before apart from the fact that you are my daughter! " Alex said calmly, as she walked over to the hamper.

"You still could've knocked!"

"Why? This is my house young lady, I can walk into any room I want, without knocking."

"Are we going to discuss this now?! Seriously?! Get out Mom!" Kat said. Alex turned to leave when something on Kat made her stop.

"Is that a hickey at your neck…and navel?" She asked as she stood in front of her.

Quickly Kat covered the one on her bellybutton, and mentally cursed Toby for this. But she forgot that so, her mother would be able to see the worst one. "Ah- No, that's-" But Alex came even closer and pulled the left arm of her daughter away from her chest, so the hickey could be clearly seen.

"Kathrin Marie Blake! Could you please tell me how that hickey got there?" she asked intimidatingly.

"Do I really have to explain that to you? I'm fifteen Mom! What are you expecting me to do?"

"Well I expected that you wouldn't let a boy do a hickey between your breasts! Who was that anyway?"

"You can't really be thinking that I would tell you who did this, could you? Gee Mom!" Kat said loudly as she blushed.

"You…you would tell me if you had sex, wouldn't you?"

"Oh my God Mother! Even if I would, then clearly not while standing naked in front of you in the bathroom! Get out!" With that Kat shoved her mum out of the bathroom.

Was her daughter having sex? She was only fifteen! It was legal if the boy was her age, but that didn't mean she was allowed to…No she couldn't imagine that! Suddenly Alex could understand her own mother better, she was still her little baby girl, for God's sake!

"Mom, are you ready?" Ethan called from down the stairs with his soccer ball already under his arm waiting for her to come down. She looked at the laundry in her arms, to hell with this! She wanted to spend the day with her son. When they got to the park Ethan quickly found some other boys to play with. She stood some feet away from the pitch and the other parents around. She glanced down at her cell and saw that she received a message from Spencer and her stomach turned.

'I just wanted to apologize to you for yesterday. I promise it's not going to happen again. Are we okay?'

Alex's heart crumpled up because she regretted that she hadn't kissed him. Alex didn't know what to do next, there was something, but…she just couldn't tell what. She didn't want that one thing to break because they weren't good at being anything more than friends.

'Of course we are fine! There is nothing to apologize for Spencer,'

"Hello!"

She looked up and saw a men standing in front of her who friendly smiled at her. He was taller than her, had short blonde hair and green eyes sparkling with a kindness and intelligence.

"Hi," She said and smiled back, "Can I help you?" Alex watched Ethan out of the corner of her eyes, she knew that even though someone talked to her she had to watch her son. She didn't want him to be one of her cases!

"Am...well, I guess no, I ha." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "I only wanted to keep you some company. You looked a little lonely from over there…and I wanted to get away from those women who constantly try to flirt…" He stated and Alex looked over his shoulder to see that the group of single ladies sent her looks which could kill.

"Same for me,"

"Are they constantly flirting with you too?"

She gave a short laugh "No, I mean I don't like those women either, such super Mommys but when only one men walks by, they try to pick him up."

"And you're different?" He asked.

"Charming…No I'm not like that. I'm not at home as much as I would like, so I want to spend as much time with my son as possible, before he's too embarrassed to be seen with me!" Now he gave a short laugh.

"Yeah I know that! Who is yours?"

"Ah…the one in the red "Flash" T-Shirt his name is Ethan," Alex said as she pointed towards her son.

"My Brandon is the one in the goal…you're a nice change from those over there,"

"Thanks…but maybe I just suck at being a single mom…"

"I doubt that…If you like you can call me Peter!" He said as he held out his hand.

"Alex," Alex answered as she shook his hand.

"So, Peter, why did you really come over to me? I saw that you were standing on the other side of the goal so the women were only able to stare at you but never talk to you!" she asked and grinned at the perplex look on his face.

"How did you manage to psyche me out that fast?" He asked.

"Well, I'm Profiler with the FBI so a side effect of my job is to keep a closer look at my surroundings. Especially the little details… It's kinda hard to turn that off!"

"Damn! Compared to that, my Lawyer job really screws up," He said in mock anger.

"It's not that great believe me. You see a lot of bad things and you are often away from home, I lost counting at how many times my son was angry at me for not being able to see him at a soccer game of his and don't let me start with the paperwork!"

"Ha! That's why I have a secretary!" He said proudly.

"I could use one of those too," Alex replied.

That was when their boys came running up to them. "Hey, you already done?" Alex asked "No we only came to collect my ball. The other kid with the ball had to go home!" Ethan said.

"Okay, or are you heading home now too?" She asked and looked at Peter.

"Nope we-" But before he could finish the sentence the two already ran away to play again. "-have enough time…when you're going out with me?" He added.

"That's blackmailing,"

"Guilty, as charged…so ?"

"Yes,"

"Well-Oh what?" He asked a little bit surprised.

"Yes, I'd like to go out with you." Alex said as she smiled at him.

"Okay…what about tonight, around eight?"

"Sounds perfect! 2416 Popkins Lane." She said still smiling.

"Could you finally stop now? For the last time Mom, you look great!" Kat said as she stood in the doorframe to her mother's bedroom, and shook her head as she watched how her mother fumbled with the fabric of her dress on her waist for the dozenth time. It was black, went down to her knees and the fabric, which created a nice V neck, went over her right shoulder. She wore black pumps, her hair was curled up in an elegant way and she wore decent make-up.

"You think so ?...Maybe I should-"

"Oh No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You're going on this date with this guy, clear? Shorty's already over at Christina's and I'll be there too in a couple of minutes okay?! Since Kurt, it's about time you got back into the dating game!" 'Even though it should be Spence and not this jerk!' Kat mentally added but she would make sure they would be together, even if it meant to manipulate this date her mother was about to have.

"You deserved someone nice, so enjoy the evening and see what happens. If something happens then that's great and if it doesn't then that's okay too." Kat said as she dragged her mother out of her bedroom.

"I wish you a nice evening!" She said and kissed her mother's cheek.

"Thank you, "Alex said as the doorbell rang. "I'll see you lat-" "Oh that's something you can completely forget! In the next 12 hours nothing in the world is able to get me into this house," Kat winked at her and Alex sent her a reproachful glance because her daughter thought she would sleep with Peter on their first date. She was not a saint, but she clearly wouldn't sleep with him…at least not at the moment.

When she opened the door, in front of her stood a really handsome Peter. He wore a Black suit, a white shirt and no tie. He also seemed to check her out.

"You look amazing!" He said and smiled.

"Thanks, you don't look that bad yourself!" Alex answered, before he could answer Kat butted in.

"Okay folks that was my cue. I'm gone, have fun and if I were you, I would be careful with my doings, you never know who's maybe watching and-"

"Kathrin Marie Blake! If you are not over at Christi's in ten seconds you will never be out of your room until the cows come home!" Kat only grinned cheekily at a confused Peter.

"It was a nice to meet you Peter, you should get her into bed before mid-"

"Kat!"

"I'm outta here," She then squashed past Peter and ran towards Christina's house on the other side of the road, who was also spying out of her kitchen window.

"That was my teenage daughter, who you or anyone else will ever see again because she will be grounded until she's eighty or I'm dead, whatever comes first. " Alex grumbled embarrassed as she locked the front door.

"Nah, don't be too hard on her. I was worse her age!" He said as he led her to his car. "She's not going to follow us, is she?" He asked as he opened the passenger door.

"No, she just loves to embarrass me in front of men I'm dating, nothing more."

They drove to DC where he stopped at a fancy Restaurant Alex never had been to or even heard of. As they walked to the entrance he held out his arm and she quickly linked arms with him.

"Welcome to Marcel's!" A nice waitress behind a desk said to the couple.

"Hello I reserved for two, Stein." Peter said, "Yes I see it, please follow me!" the woman led them to their table which had a beautiful view of the garden which was decorated very romantically. Many tiny lights were in the bushes and trees around the big fountain in the middle of the backyard with swimming candles in it.

"I intended to eat outside but it's supposed to rain, so I thought I shouldn't risk anything. I hope you don't mind?"

"What? No, it's beautiful here!"

"So, I'm not beginning this forced dinner that bad then?" He asked and smiled.

"No, not bad at all!" Then the waitress came already back to them. "Would you like to order?"

"Yes I would like to have a bottle of your 2010 Chateuneuf du Pape Vielles Vignes!" He said in perfect French, when Alex looked at the price, she caught her breath.

"Wait! Peter! A wine costing less than 225$ is also okay,"

"Believe me I have the money and I want it to be a unforgettable night…even if it's only because of the expensive wine!" She smiled.

"Okay…"

When they also had ordered their food, they began to talk.

"So FBI huh?"

"Yes, when I'm not flying over the country catching serial killers, I'm a professor for Forensic Linguistics at George Town and of course a Mother. In between I sometimes even sleep and breathe."

"Really? Wow…FBI Agent, Professor and Mother, that's impressive…but why FBI?" He asked really interested.

"Ah…I think it's a family thing. My father was a captain in our home town. My older brother, my younger brother, and I always had to do our own thing so, as there was no agent in the family, I decided to go to the academy after college."

"Do you regret it sometimes, that you chose this path?" She hesitated and thought for a moment. There was her mother, her brother, the abduction of her daughter, the disappearance and probably death of her husband, her kids and…Spencer and now the team.

"No…without this job I would be someone else and I wouldn't be in this state, not to say in this restaurant," She said truthfully.

"And why are you here then? I mean you're often away from you kids, why are you doing this?" Peter asked.

"I don't see many good things in my job. There is so much cruelness…sometimes that much, that I think I'm going to lose the belief in the good in mankind, but then I come home to my kids or phone them to hear their voices. I hug them and I know that I did the right thing to do what I do cause I'm lucky enough to be able to hug my children and for every life we save, I know it was worth everything and they know it too. I love my job even though it can be hard and make you lose the faith in humanity…but if we don't do this and take that upon ourselves…who else is? 'cause you'd be surprised how few are trying to become an agent of better said are able to do the job!"

"Enough of me, what kind of Lawyer are you?" She asked.

"Well, at least not one of them who tries to get the bad boys you arrested out of prison. I'm a tax lawyer," Peter said and nipped at his wine.

"Yes that would've led to a conflict of interests, if you wanted to get the people I arrest out of custody. So, why did you want to become a tax lawyer?" Alex asked.

"I grew up in a poor family, was the first one who would be able to attend a college and so I had to work hard to get through college. I worked as a Pizza boy and one day my employee, a really nice man, got a letter from the revenue authorities. He was an immigrant and didn't understand a word in that letter or what fiscal evasion was…and so he got bankrupt and I had no job like six other nice people and that was terrifying. What those authorities could do with an blink of an eye and so I did everything to become a tax lawyer."

They talked about different things whilst they waited for their food and also while they ate, sometimes she caught herself in expecting him to fall into a long speech about different things like Spencer always did and the longer she thought about that the more she missed it. Alex missed it relaxing and talking about things nobody else thought were interesting or things everybody else thought were deadly boring!

Alex had stopped whilst she ordered because she thought he would say something about the bad spelling mistake in the menu. She nearly wanted him to tell her for the thousand time why toast was called toast. She missed laughing about his jokes no one else thought were funny. She missed hearing what he did all day when there was no case, what books he read and over which theories he had been thinking…She missed the fact that it wasn't him with whom she sat here. 'Now pull yourself together damn it!' Alex tried and she tried it really but now she couldn't ban Spencer from her thoughts and if she was truthful she didn't even want him to leave her thoughts.

"Are you alright?" Peter asked as he brushed his hand over hers which caused her to flinch a little and he gave her a questioning look.

"No…it's…I-I'm really sorry Peter, but this isn't going to work, I thought I was ready, but I wasn't…I'm really, really sorry but I can't do this Peter…I'm sorry!"

Alex took her purse and left the Restaurant, before she would make it even worse. When she stood outside, she took a few deep breaths and walked down the side walk then she remembered that she had no car! She would have to call a taxi. Just as she had her cell out of her purse, it began to rain like the world was going to end. She cursed in several languages and ran to a roofed house entrance. That was when her look came over a street sign; this road was somehow familiar with her. Then she realized that she had been here before, at least she drove through this street, but at nights it looked different. She started walking, though it rained like hell and four blocks straight down the road and two blocks to the right. She stood at the front door of his apartment building and rang his doorbell, probably she looked like she had taken a swim.

"Hello?"

"Spencer? It's me Alex…could I come in? It's kinda cold out here." She asked shivering and whipped the rain from her face.

For a moment there was silence on the other side of the intercom. "Yes! Yes of course!" The buzzer could be heard and she stepped inside. She stepped out of her pumps and walked up the stairs to his apartment where she knocked one time and the door opened. When he saw her, his eyes widened as he saw that she looked like she had taken a swim, the next thing he noticed was how she was dressed and swallowed.

"God Alex, did you walk here from Alexandria in the rain?" He asked as he quickly led her inside.

"Thanks and no just a couple of blocks," She said as she stepped inside and gave a little sneeze, which he thought was very cute.

"Your frozen Alex!" He said as he touched her bare shoulder.

"Would it be that rude to ask, if I could change into some of your clothes?" She asked and her cheeks turned slight red.

"Ah yes! But we are friends so that complete okay!" Spencer said and smiled at her, before he led her to his bedroom. She followed him hesitantly, they knew each other long enough but neither had been in the bedroom of the other. It wasn't very big, just enough space for the surprising large bed, his drawer and of course a bookshelf, Alex really liked it.

"Here," He said as he laid a sweater and a pair of pajama pants on his bed. Both was too small for him, but looked like it could fit her just fine.

"Well…I'll make us a cup of tea," He said and his cheeks turned red as he turned around to quickly leave his room as he realized she was about to change.

"Wait!" He stopped and looked at her, but Alex had turned around so he wouldn't see her face while she talked.

"Could you help me with the zipper?"

"With the-?…Oh ! Y-yes 'course." He stepped closer to her and Alex stroked her wet hair aside, so he had better access to the sipper of her dress. He was very thankful that she couldn't see him swallowing as he slowly pulled the sipper down and blushed as he saw more and more. When he reached the clasp of her lace bra he suddenly stopped.

"Here you go," Reid mumbled and hurried out of his room and into the kitchen as he stood there and waited for the water to boil. The thought of Alex half naked in his bedroom made nothing any easier for him. When the tea was finished he took the two cups and made it back into the living room where Alex sat on his old tattered sofa. He placed the cups in front of her and handed her a blanket which she thankfully laid around herself.

"So how do I come to this honour?" He asked and sat down beside her.

"Well I maybe just skedaddled from a Date…Oh my God I just skedaddled from a date!" She hid her face in her hands and only seemed to realize now what she had done, but so she couldn't see, how his jaw bone strained but as Spencer understood that she had run away, he smiled.

"Oh man…why did you do that?" He asked.

"The truth? I thought I should go out again, but that was a mistake. It started real nice, he was really nice and funny, but…something was missing, something just didn't seem to fit." She said and let out the big fact that she wished it would have been him.

"If I'm interrupting you I could call a taxi no problem!" She said as she realized she just had been coming over without asking if he had time.

"What? No! You would never interrupt something, I wasn't doing anything anyway!" He answered and saw that she was still shivering, so he moved closer to her and laid his arm around her and handed her one cup. They both could stay like this forever, they didn't want to let go of each other, as they enjoyed the others present more than anything else in the world.

But the ringing of his cellphone destroyed the moment and they forced themselves to let go of each other, even though something in the both of them, refused to let the other one go.

"Hello?...okay…I'll tell Alex...okay, see you tomorrow!" He hung up and she looked at him confused as he shifted back into the position he was before and laid his arm around her.

"That was a new case in New York and somehow Hotch's brother has something to do with it!" Spencer explained and laid his head on hers. Even though she would have to leave early tomorrow morning, she stayed with Spencer way after midnight and enjoyed his company, wishing to finally find the courage to tell him how she felt. But she had still time to tell him didn't she? She would tell him after this case she promised herself. She couldn't intuit that then it maybe would be too late


	5. Too late

**AN: The Chapter starts right before the helicopter crashes with, Hotch, Spencer and Alex. Before that, everything is the same like on the show.**

Too late…

,,Get yourself ready for the impact !" yelled the pilot over the sound of the falling Helicopter.

Alex griped the handle above her head tight, while adrenalin shot through her body, in this Moment, she was so scared to never see her Kids again, to leave them alone. She closed her eyes and swallowed, suddenly a hand forced her to look to her right, for a brief Moment, she saw Spencer's also scared face, before he pulled her close and pressed his Lips hard against hers. Right now in the fear of dying, it wasn't a sweet little kiss and Alex didn't care, she didn't care if he was her colleague, younger, or the closest thing to a father her children had, she just kissed him back and for this Moment their Lips met, the world stopped for both of them, they forgot everything and just thought about the person they loved.

,,Hold on tight !".

They separated and before either one of them could say anything, Alex just took his hand in hers and squeezed tight, when he looked her in the eyes he saw fear. They then hit the ground.

She was flung to the side, her head hit the metal of the helicopter, the window beside her broke and her sight blurred because of the daze and pain, but she clung to his hand the whole time. After a couple of seconds, everything seemed to be over. A constant pain throbbed through her head, from where she had hit the side of the helicopter and something warm tickled down her cheek. She then moved each arm and leg carefully, as she tried to move her left leg, a sharp pain shot through her body and she gazed down, only to see a quite big piece of broken glass in her upper leg.

But she didn't have enough time to think about that, she was still to dazed, a little breath of wind went passed her, but she looked to her right were Spencer started to move too, by the look of it he was unharmed. But then her sight was taken by a thick, white fog and she began to lose consciousness, the last thing she felt, was how someone grabbed her and pulled her away.

The last ting Spencer felt before he fainted, was how the hand he held tight in his left was wrested.

Pain. That was the first thing she felt after she woke up again, pain in her head, her arms and left thigh. Her head was reeling, she opened her eyes, but closed them instantly again, everything turned around and she couldn't see straight. She concentrated, something was wrong ! Really wrong, this was not her seat in the helicopter, she tried to move her arms and legs but she couldn't ! She forced herself to open her eyes, even though everything turned, she looked down and tried again to move her arms, but her wrists where chained to a chair ! Panic shot through her body. She tried to move her legs even though the pain in her left leg caused tears of pain to well in her eyes. Stop ! She had to calm down or she was dead ! _–You're already dead, your somewhere in the nowhere chained to a chair, by a psychotic killer who hates you !-_

She looked around and saw him standing in front of her in the shadows, he watched her with this look, which she had never liked.

,,Do you like it…?" she asked and blinked a few times, as everything went into a blur again.

,,What ?"

,,To abduct people and kill them…though you not very talented " he lunged out and she flinched away, but the punch never came.

,,Said the woman in chains…I didn't remember you being that direct "

,,You never saw me in fucking chains before did you ?!" she hissed and let herself fall back into the chair with resignation, there was another chain around her neck.

,,Right, only cuff's as they dumped us…we were forgotten !"

,,You, you were forgotten…don't you dare to compare me with you "

,,Why are you doing this again ? Why have you been working under this bitch again, after all she had done to us ?" he asked and stepped closer.

,,There never was an "us"…she atoned enough, I stopped living in the past you should try too, and stop whining around !" This time the punch came but she kept quiet.

,,Don't play the moralizer !...How long have you been living in the past ? Hmm ? One and a half years ? In which you whined around ?" she knew immediately that he wasn't talking about the thing with Strauss and she cramped together.

,,Until you had certitude, that he was dead ?" he murmured in her ear.

,,But you got yourself a nice toy boy…a little too young for you huh ?" he said and Alex pressed her Lips together.

,,We are not a couple " she hissed, ,,He is a good friend !"

,,Keep persuade yourself about that…but he already saw the little know it all die…is he going to cry over you too ? Or is he not even going to care…that's going to be quite exciting, are you going to regret it ? That you never told him what you want ? That you want him ?"

,,Shut up " she said quietly, as the first tears tickled down her cheeks.

,,What did you say ?"

,,Shut up !" she repeated louder and with anger.

,,Okay…let's stop talking about your toy boy and start talking about your Children" her head snapped up and she glared at him, without fear or panic, only with pure rage and hate.

,,Don't you dare to talk about them !" she spat angrily at him.

,,Oh…you're going to listen to what I say…'cause you failed as a mother…do you notice something ? Your away from home again…you are not going to get out of this alive, What were your last words to them ? Somebody's going to tell them that your dead…Oh how will they cry !" he said and she shut her eyes tightly, tried to shut him out. _–He's trying to manipulate you !...and he is successful !-_

,,Oh little Ethan loses Mommy and Daddy…how is he going to cry, when I come and get him and his sister…how is he going to cry, when I'm going to take his sister…Oh yeah…sweet Kathrin…beautiful like her Mother hmm…how is she going to scream and beg ? Do you think she will call out for you ? begging you to free and save her ? But you'll never come and she's mine ! Should I let him watch ? When I take her, when she screams with every thrust-"

,,Stop ! Please don't…not my children please…" she could bear it when he would torture her, she could stand the fact that he would kill her, but she couldn't bear to hear what he would do to her daughter and son, she couldn't bear hearing that he would rape Kat and make Ethan watch. He pulled her head back with her hair and was so close to her ear, that she could feel his breath and his lips.

She tried to get out of his grip which brought up disgust and sickness in her, he stood in front of her again and punched her in the face two more times and one more time in her stomach. She again, bit down a cry of pain and just writhed in the chains and gasped for air as blood ran from her nose, she too could taste the typical iron taste in her mouth, because her lip had split open. He pulled her head back and stepped behind her, to murmur in her ear again.

,,Do you want be to stop ? Do you want me to stop talking about how I'll take her over and over and over again ? So long, until she begs me to kill her ?".

,,Yes, please…stop…don't do anything to them " she begged quiet now herself and knew she had signed her death penalty.

,,Would you die for your Children, when I wouldn't do anything to them ?" he asked.

,,Yes, yes I would !" Alex answered without hesitating, without a quaver in her voice, she would die for her children, because the love of a mother went beyond death.

,,Are you sure ?...Then repeat it loud and clear for the world" said Curtis and pointed to the wall opposite of her. She then noticed the lens, the camera had probably filmed the whole time, what she didn't knew was, that the film was directly played on Garcia's monitor, who sat crying beside Kevin who held her hand. But Alex still had some pride, and sat straight up and looked directly in the lens of the camera.

,,I would die for my children, you can't take that from them or from me, because I love my Kids, I would do and give anything I have for them and more…I would-" she stopped to correct herself, she knew in this room, on this chair, with this man who stood behind her, she would die, ,,-I will give my life for them !" she said and kept looking at the lens.

,,Don't you want to think about that for a second ?".

,,No, I love them more then my life…I'm sorry that I failed as a mother…but if it takes my life to save them from any harm, I'll give it for them…"

,,You had the choice…if you ask me that was a real stupid choice" he said and she could hear a little "Plop" sound, before something little felt on the floor.

,,You don't understand this…you don't understand the love of a mother for her child" said Alex and looked him in the eyes, she wanted him to look at her, she wanted him to be hunted by it.

,,Maybe-" he pushed the test tube into her mouth with a little more force than needed and he put his hand over her nose, so she had no choice but to swallow the liquid. It burned at her open lip and left a disgusting, bitter taste. Because of his actions, she choked and felt the same burning in her lungs, as she struggled for breath while coughing. Maybe if she had more than a coffee this morning, she would've had more time, but she knew like this it would be in her whole body in no time.

,,-But " he continued as he walked up to the camera, ,,What I also don't understand is, how parents can be so naive, when your dead, who's going to stop me from taking your kids !?".

,,No ! No, you said you would leave them alone !" said Alex loud and tried to get free once more, No, no, no, no ! She had been fooled by him, it had been his plan from the beginning, that she would consent in killing herself ! He knew she would sacrifice herself for her children.

,,First, I never said that I would leave them alone and even if I had…it would have been a lie ! Oh and this is my special creation for you, it's going to kill you slow and quite painful, but you'll be alive just so long, that your friends will see you die !" he said and left.

She would die here and he would get her children, she didn't scream and she didn't sob, the more upset she would get the smaller was the chance for her to get out of here somehow and save her children. Beside Kat and Ethan she thought about Spencer, while tears streamed down her face, he had kissed her, because he felt something for her or if it was just a panic reaction to the crash she couldn't say, what she could say was though, that she regretted not telling him how she felt.

She started to feel the poison now, slowly but noticeable it was getting warmer and warmer, her arms and legs got numb and her head began to get heavier and a strong pain went through it, her sight started to blur again and not because of the tears, which had already stopped floating by now. Her mouth was so dry and she was so thirsty…she caught and it got difficult for her to breathe, she closed her eyes and hoped that it would be over soon.

When Spencer started to wake up, he heard the rotations of rotor blades of another helicopter, in front of him also Hotch and the Pilot started moving again.

,,Hey Ya alright ?!" asked Morgan from outside and pulled the door open, Spencer then remembered his last moments before he lost consciousness…he had kissed Alex and held her hand while they crashed, his head snapped to his left, but he only saw JJ and Morgan with their flashlights.

,,Where is Blake ?" asked JJ, he jumped up and hurried out of the wreck, as if he expected her to stand or lay somewhere outside.

,,Alex !?" he yelled and looked around with panic ,,Alex !?".

,,Here is blood" said Morgan and then picked something up from the bottom of the wreck, it was some kind of can.

,,He has her !" said Spencer and looked horrified at JJ, now their colleagues arrived with the vehicles and he and Hotch quickly insured that they were fine and made it to the SUV's.

,,Hurry ! He could have taken her so often, he wants to do a show like he did with Erin !" said Hotch as they got in to a car.

Rage pulsated through him like his blood, if he would do her any harm, he would kill him ! He would kill him with his bare hands ! Spencer had only been that furious in his life, as Diane had abducted Maeve. He couldn't lose her too, not her, not now ! He had kissed her without the chance of telling her how he felt ! Alex, Kat and Ethan all meant so much to him, they were his family, of course the others were too, but it was different with the three of them. He loved Alex for so long, he wanted to proof to her, that he was there for her, that she could trust him, that he was the right one for her !. Spencer was the happiest man on earth when they were together, on his or her couch talking or just enjoying each other's presence, maybe her head on his shoulder.

,,Spence ?" asked JJ worried and laid a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her with pain in his eyes, but before he could answer, Garcia's voice could be heard.

,,Oh my God ! Guy's you have to hurry ! I just got a video, he chained Alex to a chair and tortures her !" she said and they could hear that she cried.

,,That son of a bitch !" cursed Morgan and speeded even more.

,,Oh No, no, no ! he convinced her to sacrifice herself for her children ! He forced her to drink the adulterated PMA !" said Garcia.

His heart champed together, No ! They had to be in time ! They had to save her, she couldn't die !.

,,Garcia sent an ambulance ! They need Benzodiazepine, Phenytoin, Alpha- and Beta blockers, Nifedipine and a cold saline solution ! That's the only thing abled to save her !" he said.

,,I will !" she answered and did as told.

As they reached the house, they all got out of the car as fast as possible, ,,Morgan, JJ you will go in at the front with the others, Reid you'll come with me !" they moved fast, but crouched around the house, as they passed the Pick-Up Hotch looked inside but saw nothing. At the backside of the house they saw an old door in the ground, leading to a basement. Hotch pulled the door open and shone inside, but saw again nothing. No one of them saw the shadow disappearing behind a tree.

They slowly went down the stairs and found themselves in a messy room, they searched but no one was here. Behind a big shelf Spencer saw a faint light, he looked over to Hotch, who nodded. They moved forward and stood in some sort of mini lab, in front of them stood JJ and Morgan who shook their heads, all eyes went to the last doorway, which was dark like the night. Morgan and JJ moved first, they nearly oversaw the metal door, they waited a Moment until everyone was ready, then Morgan kicked the door down.

In the middle of the room they saw Blake, unconscious and chained to the chair she sat on, but what worried them more, was that she showed no reaction on their entrance and just continued to hung lifelessly in the chains.

,,Alex !" Reid ran towards her and lifted her head, as he saw the chain around her neck.

,,Alex, can you hear me ? Hey !?" then finally she opened her eyes, which seem to cost her a lot of energy.

,,You're…here…" she murmured and her eyes fluttered shut again.

,,Morgan, help the others with the search, JJ help me get the chains of off Blake and Reid keep her awake !" without hesitating they came after their task, while Spencer's heart started to hammer in his Chest, he needed to save her ! She couldn't die !.

,,Hey Alex, stay with us okay ? Stay with me, we're going to get you out of here ! The ambulance is on its way !" he said and forced her to look at him, he noticed how hot her skin was, they had not much time left.

,,Spence…I-…I can't breathe…it-it…" she trailed off and tried to close her eyes again, but Spencer continued to forces her, to look at him.

,,Look at me ! Look at me Alex !".

,,I can't-…it's so-so hot…" speaking seemed to only strain her even more then to keep her eyes open and she looked around hectically and couldn't focus on him or anything else.

,,We're almost finished !" said JJ, when she got her left leg out of the chain while she pressed her right hand on the wound in Alex thigh.

,,You hear ? We'll be out of here in no time and I promise you Alex, everything is going to be fine ! But you have to promise to stay awake Alex ! Think of Kat and Ethan, they need you !" when he said this, she began to whimper in a way, that it broke the hearts of her friends and colleagues beside her, especially Spencer's heart shattered at the sound.

,,I…I failed Spence…"

,,What ? What do you mean ?" he asked confused and took her free left hand in his.

,,As a Mother…I-I wasn't there…I was never there…when t-they needed me !" she whimpered.

,,No ! No, that's not true Alex, you did not fail ! Look at me. You. Are. A. Great. Mother ! You raised two wonderful Kids everyone loves nearly all on you own, that alone says that you did not fail !"

,,JJ, go get some cold towels from the kitchen ! We need to cool her down until the ambulance gets here !" said Hotch, as he had only three more chains to open.

JJ nodded and ran out of the room and up the stairs, Spencer was not the only one that was worried about Alex, the all were, but she herself was nearly as worried as him, she liked Alex a lot, she seemed to understand her in some ways the others couldn't, she too was a Mother and an Agent. She had "lost" another friend and colleague before her and surprisingly, she had befriended with her real quick. Yes she was not the "sister" Emily had been for her, but she was close on becoming so, she wouldn't lose her too !.

She quickly searched through the whole kitchen and when she finally found some towels, she threw them in the sink and turned the cold water on. When they were completely soaked, she turned the water off, wrung them out and ran back down, where Morgan slipped into the room right before her.

,,We need to get out of here now ! There is a bomb in the other room !" he said a little out of breath.

,,Here are the towels !" said JJ, as Hotch threw the last chain in a corner of the room.

,,She's free ! Come on !" carefully but quickly, he and Spencer lifted Alex up and then everyone could hear a loud "click" and the door swung close.

Morgan jumped forward, but he was too late. He tried to open the door with all the strength he got, but there was no way he could open it again.

,,No Chance !"

,,No ! We have to get here out of here ! Or she'll die for sure !" said Spencer with panic and anger in his voice.

Immediately Hotch tried to call for help over the radio, but there was no signal. They were trapped, doomed to wait for their death and forced to see how one of them died a cruel and merciless death.

They laid Alex carefully on the ground with her head on her own and Spencer's bullet proof vest, her breath went fast and short and she panicked more as it was harder and harder for her to breath.

,,We will get out of here Alex…I promise" Spencer tried to calm her down and stroked over her head.

,,I-I…S-Spence I can't see…I c-can't see you !...E-everything is dark" she whimpered again and panicked even more, Spencer continued to stroke over her head and squeezed her hand with his.

,,I'm here ! I'm with you, I promise I won't leave you…I'll stay with you !" he said and his brain worked hard, he needed to do something, or she was dying in his arms !

,,Help me to undress her !" he said and began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse.

,,What ?!" asked JJ confused.

,,When we undress her and lay her on the cold ground, with the towels on top, it might be enough to cool her down until-".

,,Until What ? We are going to explode ?!" asked Morgan loud.

,,Until someone gets us out of here Damn it ! She's dying !" yelled Spencer angrily back, then the others helped him to undress her, until Alex was only in her bra and panties, they then laid the cold towels over her.

,,Spence.." mumbled Alex quietly.

,,What ?"

,,You have…y-you have to…protect Kat and Ethan-…please…I beg you, he may…not harm t-them…promise me ok ?...promise m-me…that you'll protect them…" she murmured and griped his collar tight and brought him closer to her, before she gripped his hand tight as if her life depended on it ,,Please…" her last word was barely a whisper.

He looked up and saw JJ's sad and worried face and JJ saw the despair and pain in his eyes. The thought, that there was going on more between the two then they pretended to be, like Strauss and Rossi, came up in her. But she laid her hand on his and Alex's.

,,We will protect them, until you are able to do so again, we promise !" she said.

,,You hear ? You'll going to be okay again !" agreed Morgan.

,,Tell…t-them that I love them…so much…I-I'm sorry…Spence…" and her eyes closed, tired of fighting a fight, she knew she had lost, as soon as she had woken up.

,,No ! Alex ! Stay with me, you can't do this to them, Alex please no ! You can't do this to me ! You have to keep fighting, wake up, please wake up !" he shouted at his beloved one, he shook and begged her, tears forming in his eyes, but her eyes stayed closed.


	6. A few Minutes

A few Minutes

In this terrifying Moment, they heard a creak and saw a figure standing in the doorway.

"Are you alrig-…Oh God " Rossi wanted to ask if everyone was alright but when he saw Alex on the Ground, he couldn't finish the sentence.

"The ambulance is already here ! Get her out of here !" he said.

And with a speed and strength nobody expected from the slight skinny Doctor, Spencer lifted Alex up in his Arms and carried her out of the room nearly running. For one second the others were too surprised to follow his actions, but then they all got up and ran out. As they got out of the house, they saw that Reid already laid Alex on the stretcher of the ambulance.

"Run everybody and get down, there is a Bomb in the basement ! Now ! Run and get down !" yelled Hotch and everyone looked for a shelter.

"Where is Rossi ?" asked JJ and Morgan and Hotch looked around.

"Dave !? Dave !?" yelled Hotch.

"He was right behind me ! Why would he go back in ?" said Morgan, but then Rossi sprinted out of the house and the ambulance took off, leaving a broken Reid behind.

Then, everyone was distracted by the explosion of the house, the all got down and while the others watched as the house burned down, the team watched as the ambulance took off, and they were fighting again for the life of one of them too soon. Hotch walked over to Reid .

"In which hospital are they taking her ?" he asked.

"Lewisgale Hospital " he said, his voice hollow.

"Okay, we will go there, Garcia is going to inform her Kids and someone's going to bring them-"

"Alex taught them to be extremely careful, Kat is not dumb she would never trust someone she does not know when Alex is away, not to say that she would never go with them "

"Okay, then Garcia is going to pick them up personally " said Hotch and dialed the number.

"Hey Boss, is everyone okay ? How's Blake ?" she asked instantly.

"We don't know yet…but it will get scarce…Garcia you have to notify her children and Emergency Contact and bring them to Lewisgale Hospital-"

"Okay I'll send-"

"No, Reid said that her daughter won't trust anybody she doesn't know, you'll have to pick them up personally, certainly Blake has talked about us, she at least knows our names "

"Okay I'll be on my way " Hotch hung up and they drove away.

When they reached the hospital, they sat in an open waiting room and it was like a Déjá-vu when the Doctors had fought for Emily's life. Reid sat a few feet away from the others and looked at his hands, JJ saw this and sat down beside him.

"Spence ? she asked, but he showed no reaction.

"Spence…what is it ? Why…is this shaking you up so much ?".

"She…she has always understood me…she knows me better than I do myself and I know her longer then you do, I was with her when her husband disappeared and when they pronounced him dead after they hoped for one and a half years that he would come back, I was there when she, her eleven year old daughter and her barely two year old son, who never even met his own father, buried an empty coffin…she understood me when Maeve died, she was there for me, I know you all were and I'm very thankful for that, but with her it was something different…and-and…I love her" he said.

"What ?" asked JJ more than surprised.

"I love her…I love it when she's with me, when she talks to me...when we sit together on her or my couch and simply do nothing, when she's only in the same room with me…then…everything seems better. I could snap every time when she goes out with another man and I could kill him if he hurts her, or blackmails her to move to Boston with him or he would leave her…when I'm not able to see her, then that's not a good day and…she laughs about my jokes you know…" for a second, a little smile washed over his lips.

"Spencer…please don't take this the wrong way, I think it's wonderful but….don't you think it's possible that you feel for her this way because-"

"I'm looking for a replacement for Maeve ?" he said and JJ didn't answer.

"Shall I tell you the truth ?...Maeve, was more a replacement for Alex then the other way around, I felt this way about Alex before Maeve but…I knew I never had any Chance to be with her, she had a husband, two Kids, she is beautiful, intelligent and when I'm with her, then I'm able to be who I am…but who am I ? She would never go out with me…"

"Spencer ! Don't make yourself worse then you are ! Every woman could call herself lucky having you, you should tell her how you feel !" said JJ.

"What if…what if I never get the Chance to tell her that I love her…right before we crash landed, I kissed her and she kissed me back, what if I'll never be able to tell her why I kissed her ?" he asked, when he finally looked her in the eyes, it nearly broke JJ's heart.

"Guys ?!" They all knew this voice, it was Garcia and they knew what this meant, her Kids were here.

They all got up and stood on the hallway, Garcia hurried over to them. Behind her were Alex Children, first they saw her daughter.

Kathrin was about 5'3" tall and looked like a younger version of Alex with blond hair, which was really messy like she only got out of bed, which was confirmed by her clothes, she only wore a pair of wide, dark blue Boxer shorts, (it was a miracle that they remained on her slender hip) a black Top and grey socks nothing else, no shoes, no bra, no jacket. The little boy beside her was also in his pajama which had Superheroes all over it, but he had on some shoes and a jacket. Except for the dark hair and the eyes, he must look more like his father, but they had one thing in common, the expression of fear on their faces.

"Uncle Spence !" called Kat and ran past Garcia pulling her little brother with her and Spencer embraced them tight.

"What happened Spencer ? What happened with Mom ?" she asked.

"Kat-…" he couldn't say it.

"Kathrin ?...I'm Agent Hotchner could you come with me for a Moment ?" he asked as he saw that Spencer wasn't able to tell them that their mother had been poisoned and may not survive.

"Yes, Ethan stay with Spencer okay buddy ? I'll be right back " said Kat and followed Hotch a little down the hallway.

"Where is Mommy ?" asked Ethan.

"Ethan…at work something happened and your Mom needs the help of the doctors" said Spencer and sat down with him.

"But she's alright isn't she ?"

"Yeah…" he said and JJ sat down beside Ethan, while Garcia asked Morgan and Rossi quietly, how Alex was doing.

"Hello Ethan, my name is JJ" she said and smiled at him.

"You're working with Mommy and Uncle Spence aren't you ?"

"Right, do you like Superheroes ?" she asked and Ethan nodded.

"I too have a son and he likes Superheroes too, which one do you like best ?" she asked.

"I like Flash the most, but Spiderman is really cool too !"

"Henry likes Spiderman too !" she then looked over to where Kat was standing with Hotch, Kat looked at him with an unfazed expression on her face, but it could be clearly seen that her jaw was clenched tight. She then nodded and came back with a shocked look on her face, but she too looked like she couldn't believe what she just heard. JJ quickly got up so Kathrin could sit beside her brother.

"Can we see Mommy now ?" Kat pressed her lips together and kneeled in front of her little brother.

"Ethan…today…something happened to Mom, she's not doing so well…the Doctors are trying to help her…but…but maybe they won't be able to do so" said Kat.

"But she's going to be alright again, isn't she ?" he asked and his bottom Lip began to tremble and then Kat sat beside him again, to pull him on her lap and rocked him slightly back and forth and they all could hear how he cried into the shoulder of his big sister, who began to hum a song. Only Kat, Spencer and Ethan knew that it was the lullaby Alex had used to sing to them when they had been toddlers. They watched as also Spencer tried to soothe him and they all could see how hard Kat tried to hold her own tears back, but they couldn't do anything to less their pain and fear.

"Hey Buddy…everything is going to be okay again, I promise…Ok ?" she kissed his cheek and after a while he calmed down, but stayed cuddled up against his sister. Together they waited and slowly JJ worried about Kat, she clearly forced herself to stay awake, she saw in Kat's eyes that she wished for nothing more than a shoulder to cry on herself.

"Don't you want to rest for a while ?" she asked and sat beside her while she looked at the sleeping form of her little brother.

"I can't…what if something happens with Mom ?" she asked quiet.

"You don't have to torture yourself Kathrin " JJ said.

"You can call me Kat, no one calls me Kathrin…do you think…do you think Mom will be alright again ?".

"Yes of course she will !" and she gave Kat a small smile, as she pulled Ethan up again as he dared to slip off of her lap again.

"Should I take him for a second ?" asked Spencer and before Kat answered, he already placed him on his own.

"Thanks " mumbled Kat.

Then a Doctor approached them, "Colleagues of…Alex Blake ? Did you contact her family ?" he asked. Before someone could answer him Kat stood up.

"I'm her daughter…except for my Grandfather and Uncle, who live far away there is nobody and her Emergency Contact is in Los Angeles because of her work " she spoke with a firm voice, even though they all could hear the hint of fear.

"Okay, please follow me ".

"You can say it in front of them all, their Family too".

"Okay, I won't lie to you, we had great luck a few minutes later and we would've had no chance, but because of you actions and the information for the paramedic, we could save your Mother and Colleague from a certain death, she now is stable, but she's still not over the worst, we can only say that she will recover when…if she awakes, she was really lucky to have colleagues like you…if you want, you can go to her now, follow the hallway then to the right, Room 187"

Even though she was still in danger, they were all relief, but the most relieved ones were Kat and Spencer.

"Come on, go to her" said Hotch and Kat nodded. She walked to Spencer and woke Ethan.

"Hey Shorty…we can go to Mom now-"

"Is she okay ?"

"She is doing better Ethan, but when we go to see her…she will be asleep, you don't have to be scared okay ?" she said and he nodded and she took his hand as they walked down the hallway.

"Don't want to go with them ?" asked JJ Spencer.

"I can't-"

"Yes you can, come on I'll walk with you " she said and slightly dragged him with her, when they were a round the corner, they saw how Kat opened the door and Ethan walked in but Kat didn't move. As they stood beside her, they saw the tears streaming down her face.

"I-I can't " she turned around and ran away.

"Kat !" Spencer wanted to go after her, but JJ stopped him.

"I'll go, stay with Ethan !" she said and ran after Kat.

It also cost him much to walk into the room, the only thing that made him go in there was Ethan and he shouldn't be alone, when Alex was like this. As he saw her, a sharp pain went through his chest, he saw how she laid there, with all the tubes and instruments, the wounds on her face, but worst…so lifeless.

"Uncle Spence ?" asked Ethan.

"What is it ?".

"Mommy is going to wake up isn't she ?".

"Yes…" he sat down and pulled him onto his lap.

"Your are going to stay aren't you Uncle Spence ?"

"Of course I'm going to stay " he said and Ethan leaned back while he watched his mother.

"Can I ask you something ?" he asked then.

"Sure what do you want to know ?".

"Could you be my new Dad ?" Ethan asked outright.

"What !? Why do you want me to be you Dad ?" asked Spencer surprised and slightly flattered.

"Because you're doing all the things with me the others do with their Dads and I love you ".

Damn it ! Alex daughter was really fast ! JJ thought as she ran around the corner only to see no trace of the teenager. She slowed down and nearly overheard it, a sobbing coming from a Lady's Restroom next to her, she opened the door and on the Ground at the opposite wall sat Kat, her legs at her chest and she buried her face in her knees, while she cried her eyes out. JJ closed the door, sat beside her and hugged her close while the fifteen year old girl finally showed how she was really feeling, she had only tried to stay strong for her little brother, which was way too much for her to handle.

"I-I can't…I can't see her like this, not like this " Kat sobbed and JJ rubbed over her left arm.

"That's okay Kat "

"But I have to-"

"You have to do nothing honey ! You're allowed to cry, to be scared, to show that your scared, you don't have to force yourself to pretend to be strong Kat " she said as the girl continued to cry.

"She's my mom…I can't lose her…she's my mother, she's the only one I have left ".

"I know and you are not going to lose her Kat, she is going to be alright again"

"How can you be so sure about that ?!" she asked.

"Because I know your Mother, she loves you and your brother very much…"

"I'm scared…I'm always scared when she's gone, it all comes up from the time when Dad died…as Garcia came…I knew something happened, that maybe I would never see Mom again "

"You have to keep believing that she will be fine !" JJ said.

"I stopped believing anything since I'm ten…when my Dad disappeared, we waited and believed for one and a half years that he was alive and would come back to us, I wished and prayed that my Pa would come back, then they pronounced him dead and after that nobody cared what happened to us…Ethan and Mom are the only ones I have left…and maybe Ma is dying "

"No matter what Kat…we are all going to be there for you and Ethan okay ? Now we know you a little and you and your little brother are part of the Family now and we're going to help you " said JJ truthfully.

"Thank you…I'm just so scared…I'm just so scared" at that, JJ pulled her a little closer to her.

"I know and I also know that in the Moment, I can't do or say anything to make this fear go away, or make this any easier…but you're not alone" said JJ smoothly.

"I-I think I can go to her now…" stated Kat and whipped the tears away.

"You sure ? You know that you don't have to do this"

"But I want to, even Ethan is with her " she said.

"But you know exactly what's going on and in which state she is in, he doesn't !"

,,I still want to "

"Okay then let's go…and after that we'll get you something to wear, your nearly frozen !" said JJ as they both got up. Together they walked back to the Room and saw the team standing in front of it, when they saw them, Garcia smiled at her and laid a hand on her shoulder, Kat took a deep breath and JJ would let her hand slide down her back.

"Thank you " she whispered and walked into the room.

Kat sat down on the other side of her mother's bed and took her hand in hers, they could see how she flinched probably because the skin of her mother was still cold.

"Mom…? It's me Kat...Ethan, Spence and the others are here too…I don't know if you can hear me Mom, but if you can…I just wanted to say that I love you…your-you're the best mom in the world a-and I promise, that when you're awake…I will tell you everyday…I promise I'll try to be a better daughter, even though I sure will have my teeny moments…but you have to promise something too, that you will wake up and get better soon…'C-Cause I need you, Ethan needs you, Spence needs you…I don't want to lose you like Daddy, please Mama…please, I can't get through this once again you and Ethan are the only family I have left and Spence…and maybe your team too, they are really great…but that's way you have to get well soon, we all don't want to lose you…I love you Mama " when Kat finished she was crying and Morgan had to hug Garcia who was crying too, because they all had heard what she had said.

Then they saw how Spencer got up and sat beside Kat, he pulled Ethan on his Lap again and Kat leaned on his shoulder to cry silently.

"We should give them some privacy " said Rossi and they all agreed.

,,You can drive home now…we all should get some rest " said Hotch while they walked to the open waiting room again, but Garcia stopped.

"What about Kat and Ethan ? They can't stay here all night !" she said.

"She's right, they are KO and should go to bed, they can't do anything now" said Morgan.

"That is their mother in there ! We cannot drag them away; kick them out in Alexandria and say: Goodnight, maybe someone is taking you to Alex tomorrow! Kat's going to try to manage everything and will disregard the fact that she is far too young for this " said JJ.

"I could take them in for the night, I life the closest to here, I have enough space and tomorrow I can take them to their home, pack some things and bring them here !" said Rossi.

"Sounds good " they all turned around and saw Reid standing there, before one of them could say a word he held his hand up.

"Don't…but they should say good bye, they really could stay at yours ? I can also take them with me, no problem" but Rossi shook his head.

"Of Course they can, no problem and there is not enough space for all of you at your apartment " he said.

"I will get them " he said and left.

"Kat ?" he asked quietly and she looked up.

"What ?"

"Kat, come we'll go" he said.

"I will not leave her !" she said.

"Kat, there is nothing you can do right now…you can stay at Rossi's place and we will come back tomorrow…Ethan's asleep again, come ".

"You can take him, I will not leave her ! And you can't make me !" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I-I can't leave her alone Spencer…what if she…she decides to let go…"

"Never. Ever. Say something like that about your mother again! Do you understand me ? Your mother sacrificed her life for you, because she loves you ! She'd never give up because of the two of you ! And she would be the first one to drag you out of here Kat, we are going to come back right in the morning…the staff here isn't going to let you stay with her anyway ". Kat looked back to her mother and little brother.

She walked to her bed and kissed her mother's forehead.

"We are going to be back tomorrow, I promise…I love you Mom " she then lifted Ethan up in her arms and carried him outside.

They said their Goodbye's and Rossi drove them to his house, on the way there Kat nearly fell asleep too, she was so tiered but she couldn't sleep, something in her forced her to stay awake.

When they were at his house, Kat took Ethan in her arms with her last bit of strength and carried him inside.

"Lay him down on the Couch, we'll be right back, Reid ?" asked Rossi and Spencer nod in agreement.

They went into the kitchen and spoke quietly.

"Tomorrow we're going to drive to Alexandria and pick up something for Alex, they will also dress up and we're going to drive back to the hospital "

"Sounds like a plan…" answered Spencer and Rossi thought that he had never seen him looking that exhausted, not even with Maeve missing.

"'Come on we can all use a few hours of sleep " he said and went back to the living room with Spencer right behind him, both smiled at what they saw, Kat and Ethan were cuddled together on the couch and both were sound asleep.

"Well…I guess they are a step ahead of us…why did she never really talked about them, I mean she never even told us their names ?" he asked then.

"That's for her to tell you, but it has nothing to do with you guys at all, really she trusted you faster the she herself or I expected, but there is a fear a mother can't get over once it has happened"

"I understand…hopefully she will recover soon…make yourself comfortable Spencer, you know where the Guestrooms are, goodnight " said Rossi and threw a blanket over Kat and Ethan.

Fifty hours, she sat at the hospital bed of her mother for fifty hours and held her hand in hers, hoping that she would wake up. Also Christina, Andy, Miranda and some of the Team except Hotch and Morgan had come by also, of course she had phoned her Grandpa and Uncle but due to bad weather they were not able to come. Ethan was outside with Christina, as nobody wanted him to stay that long and stare at his "lifeless" mother, even though he was real sad and understood that it was very serious.

"Here…I thought you'd also want one " said Spencer as he sat down beside her and handed her a Coffee Cup.

"Thanks " Kat mumbled in response and took the hot cup in her cold hands, even though they stopped the cold saline solutions and the skin of her mother wasn't that cold any more that she was reminded of a corpse every time she touched her, it was still cold enough to cool her hands down too.

"The Doc was here while you've been away…he says that he had never seen something like this before and that there is a good chance, that she might wake up today ".

"That's Good ".

"You know, for some hours I sure thought we were going to be orphans…it was the same it was with Dad, I thought we would be alone " Kat stated and stared at the cup in her hands, unable to look into his or her mother's face.

"Kat, as long as I'm here and alive, you'll never be alone and the rest of the team, is going to be there for you too !" he said.

"Thank you…Spence ? Can I ask you something ?" Kat asked and chewed on her bottom lip like her mother, it looked like she was slightly embarrassed about what she was about to ask.

"Sure, what is it ?".

"Ah…how long have you been in love with mom ?".

He looked at her with surprise, how could she know ? Could she really know ? Or was she just guessing ? Was it that obvious ?.

"I-I…ah…" he stammered and Kat shook her head slightly amused.

"Don't even try to deny it Spence, I saw you two on the sofa, not for the first time, but as you nearly kissed, it was pretty clear…and I have to admit, I don't think it would be a that bad idea, if you guys would get together, of course I don't mean that you have to, but…you're the closest thing to a father we ever had" she stopped.

"Kat, I don't know what to say, that you really see me like that wasn't clear to me...but I don't know if that would be such a good idea, I mean… we are colleagues and look at me, what do you want with me ?" he asked.

"You're great Spence ! Your Family and…god Ma is going to kill me, but I know she likes you too ! She ran off that date with this Peter because she…would rather be with you, I mean you don't have to…I just want you to tell her, I don't want you to never say it, and regret it one day that you never tried, ok". He sighed she was right.

"Okay I'll tell her ". He left out the fact that he had kissed Alex.

"Wait a minute…how did you know that your mom ran from this date ? She was with me until two in the morning and she had to leave early for the Case, she couldn't and clearly wouldn't have told you ?!" he asked and Kats cheeks turned red.

"Well…maybe I followed her with a couple of friends…" she admitted.

Spencer laughed, "Why would you do that ?".

"I wanted to make sure the if the date would've went well…that there wouldn't be a second one " she said and took a sip of her coffee only to pull a disgusted face.

"Gross, too much sugar, that's yours!" she said an he rolled his eyes has they switched the cups.

Then the door opened and Ethan and Christina came in.

"And ?" the woman asked.

"The Doc said that she could wake up every minute " said Kat and pulled Ethan on her Lap.

"Just a little more waiting and then Mommy's awake again " she whispered in his ear as she placed the Coffee cup aside and rubbed her eyes. In the last two days she had only slept four hours, because of that she thought, she wasn't seeing right as the eyes of her mother started to flatter open, while her thump stroked over her mother's hand. This was really happening, her mother opened her eyes !.

"Mom !? Oh my God I think she's waking up !" said Kat loud and gently pushed Ethan from her lab so she could sit up.

"You sure ?" asked Christina and looked down on her best friend.

"Yes ! Look ! Mom can you hear me ?" Kat asked then.

"I'll get a Doctor " said Spencer and ran out. Then they all saw it, Alex really opened her eyes !.

"W-where-…?" her voice broke, she blinked a few times, but still everything was in a blur. But before Kat could say something, Reid came back with a Doctor who quickly examined her.

"Mrs. Blake, I'm Doctor Schreiber you're in the Lewisgale Hospital " he said after he made sure she was okay.

"What ?...Why am I in a Hospital ?" asked Alex hoarse and then she saw her Kids, Christina and Spencer, what had happened to her ?.

"Kat, Ethan " she said, as she saw the tears on their cheeks, she didn't care what exactly happened, she wanted to hug her children. What she did seconds later, even though it was exhausting and a little painful.

"We've missed you Mom !" said Kat and buried her face in her neck while Ethan nearly laid on top of her and cried on her chest. What had happened that her Children had been that terrified ?!

"What happened…I can't…" she looked over at the Doctor.

"You have been exposed to dangers amount of adulated PMA Mrs. Blake, you've been very, very lucky- " she looked at Reid, as if she expected him to say that this was a bad joke, ,,But I think your family will explain everything, just don't overdo it right now, I'll be back in a couple of minutes " he said with a smile and left.

"What happened ?" she asked again.

"What is the last thing you remember ?" asked Spencer.

"I-I only remember…that we were about to fly to Curtis…" a sharp pain went through his Chest, she did not remember their kiss.

"He knew that we were coming…and how, he got control over our helicopter had crashed it- No one was really hurt !...but he abducted you and forced you to take the PMA like with Strauss…we found you in time, but he trapped us and if it wasn't for Rossi we wouldn't be here…the ambulance brought you here and they were able to save you " he explained.

"I'm so glad your awake Mom !" said Kat and smiled at her.

"We all are " said Christian and squeezed Alex right hand slightly.

"It's great to see that you are awake again " Alex smiled.

"I'm really glad too Mommy !" said Ethan and snuggled closer to her, she stroked over his hair and kissed his forehead. They all enjoyed the moment when Alex was awake again, then Kat saw that Spencer still stood a few feet away.

"Well I should go and phone Grandpa that you are awake…and I'm hungry like hell…damn I forgot my wallet today, Christi ?"

"Sure, come " she stood up and at took Ethan with her.

"We'll be back soon, come on Shorty…Love ya Mom " she kissed her cheek and they left the room, so Spencer and Alex were alone.

He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

"Spence…you left something out didn't you ?".

"A little…I didn't want to say it in front of Kat and Ethan…he only gave you the PMA when you said you would take it " now she looked confused, ,,….In order to save Kat and Ethan from him…he threatened to take them and-and to rape Kat and let Ethan watch- but he's dead ! He couldn't lay a hand on them !" she nodded shocked.

"And during the crash no one was hurt ?" she asked.

"No, the pilot has a sprained wrist and we all have some bruises, but it got you worst, you had a piece of broken glass in your thigh, a laceration and two rips are contused, but that's also because the son of a bitch beat you…I thought I would lose you…you nearly died…I'm so glad they were able to save you " he said and she squeezed his hand a little.

"I'm not dying that fast…you know…sometimes I can also read you like an open book, what is it ?" he saw that she was tried.

"…nothing, really it's nothing ! The others are going to come by too I think, of course they know Kat and Ethan now and they love them, you don't need to worry…maybe you do, but that's because Garcia thinks that Ethan is like Henry and Jack the number one on her sweetest boys list "

"They…don't hate me because I didn't trust them enough to even tell them the names of my Children ?"

"No, I explained a little bit to them, they completely understand you, though they would've liked to meet them earlier, they all think that you have great Kids".

She smiled, "I know ".

Two day later she was released from hospital and Spencer took her home and when they arrived there, he carried her bag inside. As they stepped into the spic and span cleaned up living room, they saw Kat and Ethan.

"Welcome home Mom " said Kat and Ethan already ran up to her, Alex kneeled down and hugged him tight.

"I've missed you Mommy".

"I've missed you two Sweetie".

"And what about me? Am I just the neighbor next door ? Well then I'll hug Spence " asked Kat in mocked jealousy and walked past her and Ethan up to the grinning Spencer.

"Kathrin…".

,,Oh please don't call me that !" she instantly protested when she hugged her mother too.

"That's your name Kat-hrin " said Alex in amusement and Kat rolled her eyes.

"I know, but I still don't know why you named me like this ".

"We were bored as hell and that was the first name that your father hit when he played darts with the Name book…the last thing is actually true"

"What ?!"

"Just kidding, your father named you after his grandmother which he loved dearly…and I always liked the name, it means "the pure" one "

"And why did you name me Ethan ?" her son asked curious and pulled at her shirt to get her attention.

"Because I loved the name and it means "the Steady" one " she said and Kat giggled.

"How are you ?" asked Kat more serious.

"Better, my head still hurts a little, like my ribs and thigh, but else I'm fine" she then put her things away and threw her clothes in the Hamper, before she went down stairs again to look through the mail. A black framed letter quickly caught her attention and made her swallowed, a hand laid on top of hers and she looked Spencer in the eyes.

"The funeral is tomorrow…after that we would go to Rossi " he said quietly and then hugged her, in this moment he couldn't help but notice that she fitted just perfectly into his arms.

"We never had the chance to catch up over coffee and that is my fault "

"She knew and was very thankful that you had forgiven her" answered Spencer and stroked over her back in smooth circles.

"I…just wish that I'd had forgiven her earlier " mumbled Alex into his chest.

"That may sound mean, but she could be lucky that you actually had forgiven her….not many parents are able to forgive the one whose fault it was that the own child had been kidnapped Alex, so stop blaming yourself for not doing it earlier".

"Thank you Spencer…I'll make some tea, you want some too ?" she asked.

"Yes please" he said and followed her to the kitchen, before they even reached the door they heard Ethan calling.

"Hey Spence ! Could you come to my room ? I need to show you something really cool !" she nodded and Spencer hurried upstairs, before he could go to Ethan's room though, Kat's door opened, she grabbed him and he was pulled inside.

"Hey !?"

"Sorry, but I need to talk to you !" she said and walked across her room, which was a "little" messy than usual and slumped down on her bed.

"Talking ? about what ?" he asked and walked carefully, not to step on anything on the floor, which was rather difficult, to the chair of her desk, which was more like a tray for clothing, music sheets and other stuff.

Kat sighed and rolled her eyes, "About the weather, what else ? About Mom ! When are you telling her that you like her, a lot !?".

"Wha-…Kat could you please stop ?".

"No ! You two will never end up together when someone is not helping !".

"Thank you very much" grumbled Spencer a little offended.

"Oh come on ! I'm looking at this since four years and you guys not even kissed ! Give me three good reasons why you are not telling her, that you like her ?"

"W-well, we colleagues !"

"Give me a break, you really think you are the first two in the history of the BAU who fall for each other ? And your IQ is really 187 ? after what Mom told me 95% of the BAU would rather think that Morgan and Garcia are together than you and Mom".

"I don't want people to judge us because I'm younger than her !".

"Your what- like five Years from each other ? Who cares ? That's nothing and for God's sake why is every man who has a younger girlfriend a hero, but a woman with a younger boyfriend is a perv ? The mother of my friend Freddy is ten years older than his father and they are happily married since sixteen years with three kids ! So last chance Mister, cause these reasons were worse than my last math test !".

"I don't know…I don't want that we, maybe in some time, break up or we notice that we are bad couple and we can't be friends anymore and…we'll lose what we have ".

"Sometimes you have to risk something in life to change into something better Spence…when you always wait for something, then you'll wait too long and the chance is gone forever, I don't want that to happen to the two of you " she said and shoved him to the door.

,,You failed math again ?"

,,Oh shut up ! Today 7.15 come over, in Pajamas and with Pizza " she said and closed the door giving him no chance to answer. The rest of the day Spencer though about what Kat had said to him.

In the evening, Alex read a book in her office when Kat walked in, she looked at her with surprise, it was only a little after seven and she was already in a pair of Boxer shorts and a Top. "What- ?" but Kat threw a pair of her own pajama pants and a matching shirt at her.

"Change and then come down " with that she was already gone, Alex didn't know what that was about, but decided to play along and changed into her pajamas before she went down. There on the sofa she saw Kat and Ethan, both in their pajamas, they smiled and on the coffee table was something to drink and some snacks.

"Did I miss something ?" Alex asked and smiled back, a little confused.

"Well, from now on we have a new tradition, if you're here, one Sunday in every month is going to be "Pajama Sunday" we'll loll around in our Pajamas the whole day and do nothing " explained Kat ,,Oh and everyone can choose a movie now and since Ethan is the first who needs to go to bed, we'll watch his first" she added.

"Okay let's do it ".

"You agree ?".

"Of course that's a great idea " she sat down between them and Kat pushed the play button before she snuggled back close to her. In this Moment she remembered what Spencer said when she had woken up "_he only gave you the PMA when you said you would take it, in order to save Kat and Ethan from him…he threatened to take them and to rape Kat and let Ethan watch_" if they had been only a few minutes later than they had, she wouldn't sit here and God only knew what would have happened to Kat and Ethan.

"You two can't imagine how much I love you, you two are the best what could've ever happen to me, I love you so, so much and every day I am so thankful to have you…" she said and Kat smiled at her.

"We love you too Ma, it was really terrifying, but it doesn't matter anymore, because we are together again as a family, a little and slightly broken Family, but Family…right Shorty ?" she said.

"Right ! And don't call me that !" he said, before he climbed over Alex lap and squeezed himself in between them, they both laughed and Alex laid her arm around her Children.

When the doorbell rang Alex looked at Kat surprised.

"Don't you want to open the door ?".

"Like this ?!".

"Yeah, why not ?".

"Kat "

"Nope "

The doorbell rang again and Alex sighed in frustration and went to open the door, if this was someone important, she would pay Kat back with hiding an alarm clock in her room set at five in the morning, with the mess in her room she would never ever find it. When she opened the door she couldn't help herself but broke down in laugher.

"What ?" Spencer looked at her confused and then at his outfit, he wore his pajamas and bathrobe, admitted with the Pizza carton in his hand it must be a little bit funny.

"Kat said I should come in Pajamas " Alex giggled.

"You're listening to fifteen year old ?".

"Hey, looks like you do too !" she looked down at herself.

"Your right but she is my daughter…please don't tell me you bought the Pizza dressed in Pajamas ".

"No, I ordered the Pizza and then drove over here, I don't want to be the crazy guy of D.C who buys Pizza in Pajamas that fast, so can I come in ?" he said.

"Oh ! 'Course " said Alex and stepped aside.

"Hey you followed the rules great !" said Kat grinning.

"Psst !" made Ethan and Alex and Spencer sat down while Alex shook her head. At some point, Alex had leaned on him and laid her head on his shoulder and he laid his arm around her.

-_He had to tell her how he felt ! Kat was right sometimes you had to risk something in life so it could get better, when he'd always wait for the day and do nothing for it then it would clearly never happen, he had to tell her, maybe they could be together. Then he wouldn't be alone and he didn't want to be alone anymore, these three people beside him were his family…whom he nearly lost, his heart began to ache at the thought that Alex could be dead now_.-

Somewhat after midnight, it was only the two of them on the sofa, Ethan was in bed since half past nine and Alex had sent Kat to bed an hour ago, because she didn't want to beg her out of bed in the morning, which would happen if she liked it or not, but she refused to lose faith that Kat would might get up punctual someday. Spencer could get used to just sit on the sofa with her, cuddled together like that, watching an old black and white movie and maybe say the words "I love you" as loud and often as he wanted.

"Alex ?" he asked quietly.

"Hmm…?" she murmured half asleep and it took him some time to find the courage, for his next words.

"You now…it's really nice, being not alone, to have someone by his side…that's really great…these last days, I have though a lot about that, you all are my family, your important to me, especially you Alex…when Curtis had you…these were the worst days in my life…because I didn't knew if I would ever see you again, talk to you, it showed me, how much you really meant to me, for so long…you never notice how much something means to you, until its nearly gone and I don't know what I would do without you and…w-what I'm trying to say is, I think…I love you Alex…". No reaction.

"Alex ?" he looked down and sighed, Alex had fallen asleep in his arms.

When she saw this, Kat face palmed herself and went back into her room were Joe was on the phone.

"And ?"

"He told her that he loved her, but my mother had fallen asleep before" she said and Joe laughed.

"Give it some time, tomorrow is the funeral of their boss, they both are going to be sentimental and in no time he will nail her !" Kat pulled a disgusted face.

"We are still talking about my mother !"

"What ?! Oh you think the stork brought you ? Cause what I heard from my mom your mom-"

"I don't wanna hear it ! That was enough Joe for today, we'll see each other tomorrow and don't forget the crib I can't fail math again or Spencer's going to tease me forever !" with that Kat hung up and went to bed, but she found no more sleep that night.


	7. Simple words can change everything

Simple words can change everything.

Spencer woke up and for a moment he was confused about where he was, then he realized that he was at Alex place and said person was asleep beside him, he quickly sat up and then wondered why he woke up. The answer came quick, as he heard a whimper and Alex head rolled from side to side and she begged in her sleep.

"No please-…get away from her-…please no! ...No…No-….don't touch her-…" she whimpered, she was having a nightmare!.

"Alex ! Alex wake up " he shook her gently and suddenly she sat up and breathed heavily before she winced in pain, because her ribs still hurt. Tears formed in her eyes and Spencer quickly took her in his arms.

"Ssh…you had a nightmare, it's okay…it's over calm down, he's dead…he can't do anything to you anymore " he whispered in her ear and stroked over her back in smooth circles like he did before, while she curled up in a ball next to him.

"It's okay…I'm here for you " he said and ran his hand through her hair.

"He tortured her !...I-I couldn't m-move ! I c-couldn't help her !" she sobbed and he pulled her even closer.

"It was only nightmare, Kat is save and he is never going to hurt her, or Ethan or you, because I will never let that happen Alex and neither are you, because you're a great mother who protects her children !" he said and slowly she started to calm down in his arms and buried her face in his neck.

"Thank you Spence…" she said quietly.

"No problem Alex…" he said and continued his action until she had fallen asleep again, but he stayed awake the rest of the night and held Alex in his arms, luckily she had no more nightmares.

When Alex woke up the next morning, she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch, she looked at the clock at the wall and jumped up, it was half past nine ! Though her ribs hurt like hell, she ran up the stairs.

"Kat ? Ethan ?" she called and opened the door to her daughters room.

"Kat you-" but she then noticed that Kat was not in her room, she ran to Ethan's room and saw that he too wasn't there.

"Kat ? Ethan ?" she yelled and ran back down, only to be met by Spencer.

"They are in school " he said and smiled at her.

"What ?" she asked.

"Yeah I stayed overnight and you needed some rest, so I've let you sleep and took care that they would be ready for school " he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I also made something from breakfast " he said and she smiled at him thankfully.

"You could've woken me up !" she said as they walked into the kitchen.

"No you still need rest so thank me and eat !" he pushed the plate and cup towards her.

"At your command " she said and started eating.

"Alex…have you been having these nightmares since you woke up ?" he asked and she stopped. She had tried to hide it, she didn't want anyone to know especially not him, should she tell him ?.

"What night-"

"Alex, please don't lie to me…" he laid his hand on hers and she slightly squeezed it.

"Yeah…I've been having them since I woke up…the nurses told me and I said I didn't want them to tell anyone of you that I had them " she admitted.

"Why ?"

"Why ? I don't want them to know I'm having nightmares like a little girl !" she said embarrassed

"Alex…no one would've said anything if they knew you had-…after all you went through, the only thing they would do…is trying to help you !" he said and hugged her. She embraced him tight and buried her face in his chest. He was right but she still feared that they would no longer see her as the strong woman she was, or better said she pretended to be for so long, that she became the strong and cold woman she needed to be at work. But now ? They had seen her when she had been the most vulnerably, this weak, broken, whining thing…questioning her skills because they had seen her doing one of the most stupid thing she had ever done, trying to save her children in leaving them behind without protection. She feared that they all would look at her with pity now because they had to save this weak woman…she had never wanted to be again.

Spencer left three hours later and she took a shower and when she went back down only in a towel, Christina sat at her Kitchen Island, reading a Magazine and drinking coffee.

"What ?! Could you please stop drinking the good coffee ?" she asked and Christina looked at her.

"Since when have you stopped complaining that I'm coming to your house without knocking and everything ?" she asked and tried to protect her coffee from Alex.

"Since I know you aren't even listening to me when I complain " she said, as if to proof what she had said Christina looked up with a dreamy expression on her face, Alex rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers in front of her best friends nose.

"Hey…could you watch Kat and Ethan for me…I don't know when I will be back from the funeral " she said.

"Of course…you okay ?" Christina asked then.

" Better…really I'm better, but thank you, now take the cup and go over to your house again I'll change…" said Alex and turn to walked away, Christina got up herself and wanted to take the coffee beans when she heard Alex.

,,I meant your cup not the beans, if they are missing I'll hunt you down !".

Alex dressed and her thought wandered to the day, on which she had met Erin Strauss for the first time again.

"_I still owe you an apology Agent Blake " she said and Alex sighed annoyed, she really didn't want to talk to her, she wanted to go home and be with her kids. _

" _Um…" she only made and looked at her. _

" _You won't believe me Alex, but the side I like least of all in my job is the political one…when you have been blamed for arresting the wrong person, I did nothing to stop-"_

"_Oh no…You've cut my robe Erin and it took me ten years to get back here, but you know that I don't give a Damn about that anymore !...It sounds like you convinced yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, but you did ! And you know exactly why I'm angry " she hissed._

" _Yes I do…and I'm heartbroken about-"_

" _I was heartbroken when a man broke into my house and kidnapped my three year old Child, my daughter was taken from me for 71 hours, I didn't know how she was doing, if she was hurt, or if she was still alive…seventy.-one. hours because of you ! It was hell, no one believed she was still alive not even own her father…so don't tell me that you know what it was like, because you can't ! Nobody who hasn't been through the same hell knows what it was like"._

"_It was never my intention for that to happen…how is Kathrin ?" she asked, Alex swallowed and struggled with the answer._

"_She's doing fine. Her brother is fine too" she said quietly. _

"_You won't believe me Alex, but I'm glad you're here and I would like to move on with you " said Erin._

"_That makes two of us " she said and Erin walked past her but stopped and turned around. _

"_Alex… I heard what happen to James…I'm so sorry about what happened" _

" _Me too…" she said without looking at her._

**…**

_They sat in the car in silent while she drove. " Thank you for giving me a ride" Erin said. _

"_No Problem " she answered and sent her a smile. _

"_We never had the chance to catch up over coffee " she stated and Alex nodded. _

"_Yes, but maybe we can when we get back "._

"_Yes… I would like that…How are Kathrin and her Brother ?" _

"_Ethan "._

"_Excuse me ?" she asked and looked at her a little confused._

" _That's the name of my son, Ethan " she answered. _

" _That's a really nice name ! So how are Kathrin and Ethan ?"._

"_Thank you and good I think…hopefully the house is still standing " she smiled while Erin gave a short laugh before they sat together in silent again. _

"_He doesn't remember his father does he ?" the grip of her hands on the steering wheel got tighter._

"_I'm sorry I didn't want to-"_

"_It's okay… and no, he was only three month old, but he knows about his father and he reminds me of him every day…he has much of his father "._

" _It must be hard to raise them on your own"._

" _It is, but I'm so proud of them every day… that was not just talking Erin, I want to move on too and I'm sorry for not doing it earlier " she said._

" _No I would have done the same in your Position and I'm happy that you willing to give me a Chance…so we get in touch because of the coffee when we get home, Goodbye and thank you for the ride again " said Strauss with a truthful smile when she got out of the car in front of the Hotel._

"_It was a pleasure, yeah we can figure out something when were back !"_

But they never would, Alex took a shaky breath and went down the stairs, she drank a glass of water and saw the black sedan of the funeral parlor holding at her house. She took her bag and walked outside and got into the vehicle, Rossi, JJ, Garcia, Morgan and Spencer already sat inside and she sat down beside Spencer and JJ.

" Hello " she said with a small smile.

"How are you ?" asked JJ and though it was real poky Garcia hugged her tight, she hissed because of her ribs and Garcia quickly pulled back.

"I'm so, so, so sorry ! Really ! I totally forgot, sorry but I wanted to hug you because the last time-"

"Garcia ! It's okay, really it's not that bad anymore " Alex said and smiled. "I'm better my ribs and thigh still hurt a little but else I'm fine…let's see how long I'll last ". They picked up Hotch and drove to the church and Graveyard where Erin would be buried. They went up to the others and watched as Rossi walked up to her kids.

"Is he going to be alright again ?" asked Garcia.

"It's not going to be easy but I think so" said Hotch.

At both the Ceremony's in and out of the Church Alex only saw down at the flowers in her hand, a few minutes later and it would have been her who they would bury now, then it would be her Kids who stood there and bury another parent. The longer she stood here outside in the burning sun, the more exhausting it got for her, she leaned on to Reid beside her, who sent her a worried glance.

"Are you alright ?" he asked.

"No, not really…" she said and he gave her more support, as someone tapped her on her shoulder, they turned around and saw JJ who also looked worried.

"Over there is a bench you could sit on " she said and Alex nodded and gave Garcia a little smile as she saw that she too looked worried.

"Come " said Reid and pulled her a little with him, as they sat down she sighed with relief, she didn't thought it would be that tough.

"Even though I'm sad that she is dead and I liked her…I'm glad that we don't have to bury both of you…I think I couldn't have handled this " he said and she leaned a bit closer to him as she let her fingers dance around the petals of the two roses in her hands.

"Because of you…without you I would've died…and I never even thanked you " Alex said barely above a whisper.

"I would do it again every time " she didn't answer and just sat beside each other in silent until they were about to lower the coffin down, they stood up and walked back to the others. After the family and closer friends including Rossi went up, she followed they actions and laid the flowers down and stood there for a moment "I hope you can forgive me, for never thanking you that you did what you did…hopefully we'll see each other again" she whispered.

In the evening they were all at Rossi's place, they talked and laughed and told stories from their time with Strauss.

"Do you remember when she called me…and-and I thought it was somebody else ?" said Garcia and pointed towards Morgan, " And I said: Talk dirty to me ?" they all laughed.

"Oh no you didn't !" said Alex.

"Yes she did ! It was extremely funny !" said JJ giggling.

"Maybe for you, but I couldn't look at here for weeks !" she answered but giggled too.

"Alex…I always wanted to ask you what happen twelve years ago ? Erin mentioned something but wouldn't say exactly what " said Rossi after some time. She shared a glance with Reid.

"I don't think it's the right time now…it's over and I-…".

"Come on, we know it's something serious and that Strauss had something to do with it " said Morgan.

"Okay…Err…That's kinda hard sorry, three days after I and the others had been degraded…the real Unsub broke into my house at night and…kidnapped Kat, who was three at the time…" she stopped and saw the shocked looks in all but Reid's face. "The Unsub sent us a Video on which we could see that he had her, it was mostly to torture me and it worked I can tell you…they were able to save her after three days, when no one but me though she was still alive…in the video he said that he did all of this… because Erin gave our address to the media and she admitted it… and I just couldn't forgive her a long time she tried once but…it was right after James had the accident "again they looked confused except for Reid and Hotch.

"He was my husband…when Ethan was three month old he had a car accident…but they never found his body, four Years ago they pronounced him dead" she explained and Reid took her right hand in his under the table. ,,We're really sorry " said JJ and couldn't imagine what her colleague and friend had been though, the abduction of the own child, the death of her husband and having no certainty ? No she really couldn't imagine that and Garcia got up with tears in her eyes and hugged Alex.

"It's not fair that this all happened to you ! It's really not fair ! Your one of the good kind this shouldn't happen to sweet person like you !" she said an Alex smiled and bit down a hiss of pain, but she didn't want Garcia to apologies again like a waterfall, for being so kind and sweet.

"I said it was no good story, and the worst thing is I never thanked her for cutting my robe, though I won't thank her for the thing with Kat, but if she hadn't done this…then I would have never taken the offer from George Town, wouldn't have met Spence there, never would've got the offer from you and wouldn't be in this great team, which I'm very thankful for…perhaps I wouldn't even have Ethan" she said and smiled at them.

"But to lighten the mood again, I remember once when I was still working with Erin, a certain SSA on this table here was too, who believe me or not sent flowers to her but instead they landed on my table and with them a very saucy note, causing even me red cheeks !"

"Oh no, don't you dare Alex !" groaned Rossi embarrassed and they laughed.

"Okay maybe I won't tell the whole story !"

" Aw ! Come on Blake ! I'll give you twenty buck if you tell me what that note said" said Morgan with mock frustration and they laughed. They continued to laugh and talk about funny things happened to them within their time in the BAU.

The later it got, the more tired she got. "It was really nice guys but I think I'll go home it was more wearing than I thought " she said smiling.

"I'll go with you !" said Spencer and they stood up, said Goodbyes to everyone and JJ smiled knowingly shaking her head in amused lack of understanding, they were even more obvious then Strauss and Rossi. They took a cab to hers and both got out.

"I'm okay Spence " she said and walked slowly to her front door.

"No you're not " he said and she stopped, she knew he saw that she wasn't as okay as she wanted them all to believe, why could he always see how she was feeling even though anybody else believed her faking even some of the most talented Profilers in the Country ! _Because he is not anybody else !_.

"Yes you're right I'm not ! I feel damn crappy ! I feel guilty, I should have forgiven her earlier ! And God Damn it I nearly died ! I nearly left my Children and-and this Monster-!...I never thanked her because without her I would never knew you ! I would have left you, without telling you-…!" she stopped and looked down to hide her tears.

"I'm tired Spencer…tired of it all " she said and turned at her door again. He didn't knew why he said the words out loud now, he just couldn't hold them back anymore, his heart had screamed too long for this to hold it back now.

"I love you !".

She stopped in her tracks and didn't move a millimeter –Did he say what she thought he said ?- she turned around but still looked at the ground.

"No…you don't " she whispered she couldn't believe it, dreams didn't come true so fast.

"I love you Alex ! I love you for so long and don't you doubt that, because I nearly lost you without telling you and I didn't say the words once before because even though I loved Maeve, it was not the same love I feel for you ! I felt the love for her which I should feel for you, like I feel for JJ or Garcia, but it's more than that…whenever your with me ? I can be who I am and I'm truly happy when your with me, you know me better than I do myself and I love it when you laugh about my jokes no one else does and I want to show you that-that I can be there for you, that I will not hurt you like the other jerks who made the biggest mistakes in their life in leaving you if you ask me…Let me proof this, let me proof that…I'm the right one for you, I know I'm not special and not enough for you…but I love you…with all my heart " he said and she thought her heart wanted to jump out of her Chest.

This couldn't be true, he would take his words back, her heart was on fire because of hope and fear, she wanted this so much ! But they were not allowed. He stepped close to her and lifted her head for a flash of a Moment she saw only two emotions in his eyes. Pure love and a little bit of fear. Before she could say something, he brushed his lips against hers. When his lips touched hers a lost memory flashed over her mind.

They sat in the helicopter and prepared for the impact, he had forced her to look at him and kissed her, harder than the kiss they shared now, but still full of love. She pulled back but kept her eyes closed.

"You kissed me before…you kissed me when we crashed" she said quietly.

"Yes " he breathed out.

" Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and opened her eyes.

" You couldn't remember it and I-I thought it would be better if it stayed like that, that I could keep it a secret, but I can't anymore…you have been nearly dying in my arms, and you only realize how much someone means to you until the person almost gone…I thought I never had the chance to tell you why I kissed you…I needed to tell you, even if you don't return my feeli-" before he could finish the sentence, she pulled him down to her and kissed him.

She was surprised by her own doings and a moment later she was even more surprised when he deepened the kiss, his mouth parted slightly and he brushed his tongue against her lips, which she opened with pleasure, while he laid one hand at the side of her head and the other at the small of her back and Alex laid her hands around his neck and pressed herself against him. It may had been only two minutes they stayed like this, but for them it could have been a couple of sunny days, for both of them only this moment counted. She separated from him and he laid his forehead against hers.

"I think you've missed your cab " she said and a quick glance to the side told him that she was right.

"Well…then I have to walk home " he answered their foreheads still connected.

"Or…you're going to stay…because I-I love you too Spencer". She looked him in the eyes and saw a light of happiness sparkle in them she had long not seen.

He grinned and kissed her again, now even more passionately and his arms wrapped tightly around her middle and she laid hers around his neck again and Spencer pulled her close. She already couldn't get enough of the feeling of his lips on hers, how he tasted his arms around her and she never wanted to let go of him and he felt the same way about her. When a cold wind came up Alex began to shiver and he pulled back gently.

" Are you cold ?" he asked.

"A little…" she mumbled and he pulled her to the front door unlocked it and together they went inside, she instantly got out of her shoes and Spencer wanted to go over to the sofa but she pulled him over to the stairs, of course she didn't want to sleep with him, but she wanted to go to her comfortable bed, lay down and don't be alone, feel him beside her. When they stood in her bedroom she turned around.

"Could you just…hold me in your arms for a while ?" she asked and again he gently pulled her to the bed and lay down beside her and stroked lovingly over her arm as she laid cuddled up against him, her head on his chest.

"I love you Spencer…" even a second time it sounded unreal, but she liked the sound of the words when they left her mouth and the thought that she could say them as often and lout as she wanted.

In the middle of the night, Spencer woke up as the person beside him and who he held in his arms tried to get out of his embrace and quietly begged, it was Alex and she had a nightmare again, she begged that he would let Kat go or take her instead of her daughter.

"Alex ! Alex wake up !" he said and shook her. She woke with a scream and he quickly pulled her close and she started to cry in his Chest.

"It's okay…your fine I'm here…I won't let him hurt you, or Kat or Ethan, they are fine okay ? It was just a bad dream Alex " he whispered and placed a long kiss on her forehead.

"She screamed, but I couldn't help her she begged me and I-I couldn't help her !" she whisper and he whipped the tears away with his thump and kissed both her cheeks.

" I know…but it was just a dream he can't do anything to them, because he is dead, and because you and I are going to protect them, you are a great Mom Alex and they love you maybe more than I do even though I doubt that cause no one can love you so much like I do "he said and pulled the planked tighter around her as he could feel her start to shiver.

"Thank you…thank you that you're there for me…"

"I will always be there for you Alex, I love you " he said and kissed her forehead again.

"I love you too" she said and he continued to stroke over her head while he held her close and she pressed herself into his Chest so she was able to hear his heart beat which calmed her down more than anything else, because she knew it beat with the same love for her, like hers did beat for him. And so she drifted off to sleep again this time without nightmares, she knew he was there and so no harm could happen to her.

When Alex woke up, she was alone, she looked beside her but the bed was empty, she reached over but the covers were cold like they had been for so long. Her heart really shattered into a thousand pieces, tears started to form in her eyes, had it all been a dream? It had been so real, his lips on hers, his arms protectively around her and those three words… she swallowed and everything in her wanted to stay in bed, stay here curled up in a ball under the covers and stay there until the pain and hope of love was gone. But she knew she had to get up, she noticed that she still wore the dress from the funeral, she got up and changed into a pair sweat pants and a shirt before she went down stairs where she smelled coffee. She went into the kitchen and saw him standing there only in his dress pants and white shirt he then noticed her.

"Good Morning, did I wake you ?" he asked and she smiled.

"No…what are you doing ?" she asked and stepped closer.

"Well, breakfast ?" it was more of a question than an answer, she saw the uncertainty in his eyes and she took his hand in hers and pulled him close.

"Kiss me " he smiled and leaned down to press his lips against hers and they both laid their arms around the waist of the other one. They kissed like that for a couple of minutes, they both didn't notice someone came in until the person spoke.

"Hallelujah ! You two actually managed to get together !" they burst apart and turned around to see a grinning Kat standing in the doorway.

"Kat-…"

"Save it ! I thought I had to lock you guys up and only let you out when you finally confessed your feelings for one another…so this happened yesterday after nearly the whole street could see you make out in front of our house ?" she asked, first they blushed up then Alex narrowed an eyebrow.

"You and Christina have been spying out of her kitchen window haven't you ? " she asked but knew the answer. Indeed Joe had called for her mother and her when she had been in the Kitchen saying that she should better stop calling Spencer "Uncle Spencer" with that Christina and Kat had looked outside and had seen them making out at their door entrance.

"Maybe…but I'm happy that you guys finally are together !" she said and Spencer kissed Alex again before he laid his arms around her and Alex leaned back causing Kat to smiled.

"As cute and cool as I think this is, I'm meeting with Freddy and Joe " she said and hugged them.

"Okay when are you going to be back ?" asked Alex.

"I don't know, I'll be back when I'm home " she called over her shoulder and was gone.

"I hate when she does that " mumbled Alex but Spencer just chuckled and handed her a coffee mug. They enjoyed breakfast together and then sat down on the sofa.

"Ah well…should-…I mean should we tell the team ?" asked Alex.

"I don't know…I never went out with someone within the BAU " he answered.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell them right now…we should keep it for us for a while, see how everything works out and then we can tell them…I don't even know if we are allowed to date " she sated.

"It's not really forbidden though they aren't happy and the couple may has to proof that they are able to keep being professional when they are at work, but the "may" means for 99.9 % couples have to proof that they are able to be professional".

"Sounds great " mumbled Alex sarcastically and shook her head smiling when he looked at her confused and kissed him.

"That's what I love about you…you know your little issue with sarcasm" she said and he gave her a peck on her lips.

"Therefor I love everything about you " he said and nestled his face in her neck he kissed her there, caused her to shudder and turn her head.

"No you don't, you little sycophant " Alex kissed him once more while he just shrugged his shoulders.

"But I'm your little sycophant…I love you " he said pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her while she giggled.

"Yes you are…and I love you too" she said and leaned back into his arms closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of true love in her heart which she had missed for so long.

**AN: So finally I managed to get them together ! Special thanks to NarcissaMinerva for reviewing you're great !.**

**The next Chapter contains some leaps in time, like how they hide it from the team for example and then I will let my inner UnSub gain the upper hand, so try to stay with me a little longer, it'll be worthwhile !**

**Leave a review !**

**Crazy**


	8. All you need is Love

**AN: Every '…' is a time skip !**

All you need is Love

They walked down the path in the park hand in hand and watched Ethan and a school mate of his he had met, as they played soccer, they found an empty park bench and sat down, Alex leaned against him and Spencer laid his arm around her. It had been three weeks since they got together and both of them hadn't been happier in their lives, especially Spencer because finally was with the woman of his dreams and she loved him too.

"You know…we never had a real date " he stated after a while and kissed her cheek.

"And ? I think we both know each other pretty well already…" Alex said and looked at up him.

"We do but still, I want to take you out" he said.

"Wait…you want to or you going to ?" she asked and looked at him a little irritated.

"Oh I'm defiantly taking you out tonight !" he said, she grinned and kissed him.

"You don't need to do that Love…".

"But I want to, because I love you and you deserve a nice evening, I promise it's not going to be something big, only a little romantic evening for the two of us " he said and sounded a little proud of himself.

"So…what are we going to do ?" she asked eagerly.

"That's a surprise ".

"Aw come on !" she pouted.

"Nope, you'll see tonight " she thought for a moment, gave him a vicious smile and then kissed him passionately.

"And-… what about-... now ?" she asked in between kisses and he made a strange sound, a mix of a frustrated groan and laugh. "Come on tell me " she mumbled against his lips.

"That's not fair !... You will ruin yourself the surprise Allie " She sighed.

"No chance ?" she asked.

"No, not really " he said grinning and watched Ethan of the corner of his eyes, Alex wanted to sit back but he quickly wrapped his arms around her and kept her close. "Just wait a little bit…I promise it will be worthwhile ".

"I hope so…".

"When are you going to be back ?" asked Kat as she messed with Ethan's hair who was tired of fighting back while they stood at the bottom stair waiting to say goodbye to them, Alex looked at Spencer, he smiled and took her hand.

"We're going to be back, when we're back" he said and Alex laughed while he pulled her outside and closed the door.

"Hopefully you will never be like this Shorty ".

"But I wanna be like Dad !".

"What a surprise " she mumbled "So wanna have Pizza for Dinner ?!" she added, a loud Yeah! was all she got for an answer.

"Could you at least tell me where we are going ?" asked Alex.

"Nope " said Spencer and laughed.

"You know I'll have my revenge don't you "

"Yes I know ". She looked at him confused when she recognized where they were probably going.

"Wait…we're driving to your place " she stated and he nodded, now she was even more excited to know what he had planned. When they got out of the car and went inside she turned to his door but he stopped her.

"No, follow me " Spencer said and lend her up an old staircase behind a door at the end of the hallway, weren't that the stairs to the Rooftop ? She had guessed right as seconds later she stood on the quite big rooftop terrace, Alex turned to ask him why they were up here when she saw it. Under a rustically canopy which looked like he built it himself was a old Couch on a carpet, a little table with a bottle of her favorite wine, candles, some snacks, all in front of a TV and everywhere were rose petals. Alex turned around and looked at a slight nervous Spencer.

"You did this only for me?".

"Well…yeah if you don't like it we could-"

"Are you mad Spencer ? How could I not like this ? It's wonderful…really I don't know what to say " he smiled relieved and proud of himself. They sat down and he handed her a glass.

"Well…I would say on us ! And thank you for doing this " said Alex, after they chinked glasses she leaned in and kissed him. He smiled and pushed the Play Button on the video recorder and she looked even more surprised when she saw what film it was.

"Is this…"The Apartment" ?!" she asked, this was her favorite movie, because it had been also her mother's favorite one, but she had never been able to find it.

"Yes it is, I know how much you like this movie, so I asked and old friend of mine and he was okay with lending it but I actually got him to sell it to me !" he said.

"You're amazing Spence " he kissed her and grinned.

"I know ".

**…**

It was ten in the morning of a beautiful sunny Sunday, but Alex and Spencer lay still asleep in bed, they had come home from a Case really late and when they had come home everything they had wanted, was to go to bed. Spencer had his arm around her, Alex slept with her head on his chest and her right leg was over his. She had found out that when she was able to hear his heartbeat she slept way better and sometimes even without nightmares, she still had one from time to time but luckily and thanks to Spence they were fading.

"Momma ! Dad ! You're home !" with that Ethan jumped up in their bed and "attacked" them, Alex was fast enough to roll away but Spencer was used as a trampoline by the six year old boy.

"Ethan ! I'm up- Hu" Spencer didn't come further as the air in his lungs was squeezed out when Ethan slumped down on him and gave him a bear hug with his whole body.

"Only the faster one survives Honey, happy Daddy time " mumbled Alex and went back to sleep. He rolled his eyes and wrestled himself out of bed with Ethan.

"Come on Boys someone's trying to sleep here" grumbled Alex and they looked at each other.

"Attack !" Ethan jumped on the bed again and pulled the covers away from his mother, and he and Spencer started tickling her.

"No ! No stop-Ha ha ha-That's not fair-that's two against one-Ha ha ha !" Alex managed to say between laughs.

"You're gonna stand up now ? Huh ?!" asked Spencer loud and they showed no mercy over her and Ethan had great fun, after all he was his Dad.

"Okay, okay ! I'm up !"

"Yeah !" Ethan jumped off of the bed and ran out of the room and down the stairs, while Spencer laughed and Alex lay panting on the bed and held her stomach.

"That…was not fair !" she said and glared at him, Spencer only bent down and kissed her, this… was actually fair, she pulled him down on her and wrapped her arms around him. Spencer held himself up with one hand and the other ran up her thigh and snuck under her Shirt, suddenly Alex pushed him on his back and rubbed herself slightly against his lap. His hands now wrapped themselves around her and his right laid on her butt and he pushed her more into his lap, she could feel him getting aroused by her actions. She then stopped, got off of him smiling sweetly and patted his cheek.

"Told you I would have my revenge !" she said and went down, Spencer gave a short laugh and let himself fall back into the pillows he should have known immediately that she wouldn't do anything now, he got up and took a cold shower before he too went down.

When he walked into the kitchen Spencer saw a bubbly Ethan, a comatose Kat who lay half on the kitchen counter over her coffee and a grinning Alex preparing breakfast. He stood behind her and laid his hands on her waist before he kissed her neck.

"Your evil " Spencer whispered and Alex giggled.

"Only a little…Love you " she kissed him and handed him a cup of coffee.

**…**

"Finally we have the son of a bitch…so we're finally going to fly home tomorrow" said Rossi as he, Hotch, Alex and Spencer drove to the hotel they had checked in when they had been called to the Case here in Pierre South Dakota.

"Yes, I think about eight thirty we're going to head to the airport" answered Hotch.

"Well…then I would say we have enough time to check out this nice bar across from our Hotel you're in ?" asked Rossi.

"Sure " said Hotch.

"Um I would but, I got a call from a friend, my teenage daughter decided to get in some trouble "

"Ah the trouble time started, Good Luck " he said and laughed.

"Thank you "

"And what about you Dr. Genius ?"

"No thanks, I want to read this new book, it's about-"

"Okay, okay, okay no need to know that, or you're going to take all the excitement from me when I want to read it " said Rossi sarcastically. Morgan and JJ also decided to go over to the bar and so it was only her and Reid who went to their rooms to stay there. But of course they wouldn't either, as soon as she had called Kat, who wasn't in any kind of trouble, at least she hoped so, and told her that they were coming home tomorrow, she refreshed a little and then sneaked out of her room and down to Spencer's.

When she opened the door he quickly pulled her inside and started to kiss her passionately, he pressed her against the door and Alex wrapped one leg around his.

"Wanted to do this the whole day" be muttered against her neck "Especially when this creep kept looking at you like this " he added and they wandered to his bed.

"You mean like you do now- ? I'm a big girl-I can take care of them myself…" she stated as he took her blazer off and threw it on the floor.

"Oh I know you can- doesn't mean that he's allowed to look at you- like he- wanted to take you- " he said between kisses and opened the buttons of her blouse, placing kisses down to her breasts, Alex moaned and arched her back when suddenly they heard a knock on the door and both froze.

"Hey Reid open up it's me Morgan! I forgot my cell in your bag !" they stared at each other for a second before they jumped up, Reid wanted to open the door while Alex made it to the bathroom quietly as possible.

"Wait !" She hissed and gathered her blazer from the floor when she closed the bath room door she flushed the toilet as an alibi for him. Spencer waited at the door and then opened it.

"Hey sorry to interrupt your reading fun, but I need my cell " he said.

" 'Course " he searched through his bag and found his phone "Here " he said and handed it to him.

"Thanks…what have you done to your bed ?" he asked and pointed to the messed up covers.

"Err…I just slumped down, you know finally we're finished here and I was about to start reading" he said and smiled at Morgen before he closed the door leaving a perplex Morgan behind. He waited a Moment and then peeked out to make sure that Morgan really had left.

"He's gone, you can come out " he said and Alex came out of the bathroom.

"That was kinda close " she said Spencer nodded.

"It was " he said and held her hand.

"Maybe we shouldn't…do this here-" Alex said but Spencer already laid his lips back on hers and the longer they kissed the more she forgot what she wanted to say to him. When his hands stated to undress her again, she pulled back though.

"Please Spence…stop, I want this too but…not now, not like this when we could be caught every minute… please" she said and looked him in the eyes, Spencer smiled and gave her a peck on the Lips.

"Okay no problem " he told her and she was relief when she could hear that he really meant that it was okay for him to wait a little. "You want to go to bed ?" he asked then an she nodded. He turned to chage in his pajama pants while Alex stole a T-Shirt from him, of course she would have slept beside him in her underwear but even though they were in South Dakota in mid-August, it was pretty cold this night and she knew she would shiver form the cold even with Spencer beside her.

"Is it okay when I set the alarm off at seven thirty ?" he asked and Alex already pulled the covers around her.

"No it's too early but I have no choice, so seven thirty is fine " she said and snuggled close to him when he laid down beside her, Spencer grinned and kissed her once more.

"And you seriously wonder why Kat is such a morning grouch…that's something she has from you " he said.

"I know…I used to be like her when I was a teenager…and if you tell her this Mister "I can stay up until five and get up at six without any problem" I'm going to lock you up with Kat when she has her moods !" she said and he kissed her neck before he laid down and pulled her close.

"At your command, Good night Allie"

"Night Love"

…

"Mom you can't do this !" said Kat loud, she had been caught by her mother when she had tried to sneak back in after she had been on a party with her friends and on which Toby had dumped her, after he had tried to have sex with her again. Luckily Chris had saved her, because for a moment she had feared that Toby would have raped her if Chris hadn't been there in time and now this ! It had been the first party since some weeks in which she had some alcohol and now her mother caught her sometimes karma was a real bitch. Her Mom had grounded her for the three weeks without her cellphone, Laptop, or anything else not even her guitars !.

"Watch me, I can do whatever I want young Lady ! What the hell have you been think huh ?! What was going on in your mind that you snuck out in the middle of the night and try to take me for a fool ! Can you even imagine how worried I was ? Who knows what could have happened !? Couldn't you once think about what you're about to do before you do it in your life, damn it Kathrin ! And the best part is, that you have been drinking alcohol !" Alex shouted at her dead serious.

She had been scared like hell when she discovered that Kat wasn't in her room in the middle of the night, her first thought was that someone had taken her again, but then she had phoned Christina, who had phoned Freddy's Mom only to find out all three were gone and probably on a party which still hadn't them any less worried, they could have had an accident or be arrested !.

Kat huffed out annoyed, tears came to her eyes this was so unfair and an unbelieving and provocative smile came up on her lips.

"You think this is funny ?!".

"Just fuck off " muttered Kat and Alex saw red, she didn't even realized she had raised her hand or as her hand connected with Kat's cheek with a loud slap. She couldn't tell who was more shocked she, or Kat. She had never slapped her before ! Alex had sworn herself when she was teenager and had been slapped, she would never do it ! With that, all her anger frustration, disappointment and fear was gone. Alex laid her hand over her mouth as tears came to her eyes and now Kat stared at her, she had never seen her mother crying since the funeral of her father.

"I'm sorry ! I'm so, so sorry " she sat down and hugged her and after moment Kat hugged her back. "Please forgive me, I didn't intended to slap you !" she said and kissed Kat's other cheek as Kat began to sob. Not really because it had hurt that much, but because Toby had slapped her too.

"I'm sorry too Mom, I shouldn't have provoked you I'm sorry I shouldn't have snuck out or did what I did at the party…"

"Just never ever do this again, you can't imagine how scared I was ! I thought someone took my Baby-Girl again ! I thought I wasn't able to protect my daughter again ! I was so angry because I was so worried before, you know what could have happen to you ? I was so scared something had happen to you " she said and looked at her with teary eyes.

"I'm really sorry Mom"

"I know, I am too…and I'm really sorry for slapping you Kat…apology accepted ?"

"It's okay…yes, I'm still grounded am I ?"

"You can bet on that…but only the next two weeks, without your stuff I'll give it back to you one by one next week and let me guess Joe, Freddy, you and this boy named Chris went to the party ?".

"Yes…okay I'll go to bed now…love you Mom ". She didn't like lying at her mom again but she had been on the party with little John who actually had a criminal record and who was kind of hated by her mom.

"I love you too and if you ever do this again, this was nothing " she stood and walked out closing the door behind her.

"And ?" asked Spencer, he didn't bother to open his eyes and just lifted the covers, when she laid down next to him.

"Well…we made up after she told me to fuck off and I slapped her, we both apologized and she's grounded for the next two weeks "

"You slapped her ?"

"Yes, and I regret it…I swore to myself when I had been slapped by my father or mother…that I would never do it…but I was so angry and scared and disappointed…"

"Hey I understand you and one time isn't making a bad mother or person out of you, we have received some and we're also okay, and you even apologized ".

"Thank you…you always know what to say to me to make me feel better, I'm sorry for yelling at you before "

"What yelling ?" he asked and she shook her head and smiled when she laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

**…**

"Hey Love " Spencer said when he opened his door and Alex stepped inside, kissed him for a moment, before she closed the door.

"Good news Ethan got a sleep over invitation and Kat is celebrating her first night free at Joe's- I'm not dump Andy has no Shift so he watches them" she said and smiled at him, while he laid his arms around her waist.

"So…we have the whole night for us ?" he asked and brushed his lips against hers, she smiled in the kiss.

"Mmm…Yes we…have…if there is no Case !" she said between kisses and took off her jacked, she hung it on a chair and then frowned " What's the funny smell ?" she asked.

"Err…well let's just say I ordered something "

"What ?! Come on your not that bad at cooking " she said and went into his little kitchen.

"Oh my-…Spencer ! I call myself quite skilled in saving at least a little bit of foot when it's burned, thanks to the forgetfulness of Kat, but…not even I can save this…what was that supposed to be ?" she asked and bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh out loud but she couldn't help the grin that came up on her lips.

"It was supposed to be the roast joint of my mother but I forgot something at the grocery store and well…thanks to the old couple I only got here when it already looked like this" he said and she giggled.

"Don't be so mean this could be us in sometime…" Alex said and kissed him. He pulled her with him and out of the kitchen.

"It isn't smelling so bad in here…are you very hungry ?" he said and kissed her again, she kissed him back and Spencer let his hands roam over her back and Alex wrapped her arms around Spencer.

"No, not at all" Alex answered quick and instantly pressed her lips against Spencer's again and they kissed for a couple of minutes. He broke the kiss and his lips wandered to her neck and nibbled at the sensitive skin there which caused Alex to moan while one of his hands slid to the small of her back, slowly pulling her with him to his bedroom. Spencer's hands then wandered to the hem of her blouse and his fingertips inflamed her skin and increased her arousal when they found their way up and barely touched her skin, in the same time she began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt while pressing herself in his lap.

She stopped for a moment when his hand began to knead her breast and he elicited a long moan from her, Spencer took his shirt off and then also pulled her blouse over her head, while she first opened her jeans and then his trousers which were doing some work by now and he reached for the clasp of her bra. Of course he tried at her back but Alex quickly pulled his hands to her chest again.

"It opens in front Love" she said and giggled slightly, he then surprised her a little when he opened her bra only with twitch of his fingers. Spencer paused a moment and was thankful for his eidetic memory because seeing her only in the light of the bright moon outside had to be the emblem of beauty.

"You're beautiful " he breathed and kissed her as he laid one hand on her breast caressed it and brushed his thump over her already stiff nipple, Alex gasped out and bit her bottom lip. Spencer then pulled her jeans down and Alex did the same with him, brushing her hand over his erection which caused him to groan in pleasure and push her down on the bed, where he trailed kisses down to her breasts to drive her crazy with his mouth and hand.

Her breathing got faster and Alex wrapped her legs around his waist, pulled Spencer as close as possible, feeling him against her core. She scratched her nails over his shoulders; he then stopped and started to kiss his way up again until he was at her ear.

"Let me make love to you…" he whispered hoarse and removed the last piece of disturbing cloth.

**…**

"Well-…I would say-…we're lucky that I got the-…only room left on this floor" panted Spencer, when they laid cuddled together, sweat still glistened on their bodies as the two of them tried to catch their breath after they've had passionate sex.

"Oh yes-…if they had heard this-…I wouldn't be able-…to look them in the eyes for weeks " said Alex and giggled when his fingertips danced and up and down her side. She kissed his Chest while she ran her hand through the patch of slight damp hair there. He gave a short laugh and closed his eyes.

"Hmm…I love you " he said.

"I love you too…what time is it ?" she asked.

"Err…one thirty in the morning, why ?" he said and Alex smiled.

"I'll take a shower, I want to stay a little longer today " Alex said winked at him and got up, Spencer grinned and chased after her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her back.

"Did you planning on taking a shower alone ?" he asked and kissed her neck.

"Never " she answered and pulled him with her.

When Morgen went down to breakfast the next morning he took the stairs, when he walked past the glass door from the next floor he stopped and turned around that was Reid's floor, what was Blake doing there ? And wasn't that the outfit she had worn yesterday ? Maybe she just wanted to ask him something or wanted something from him before she went down, probably a book or so. Later when she came down and sat next to JJ, she was in a very good mood which was very unusual and Morgan swore she wore something totally different.

**…**

"What do you mean by that ?" asked Alex over the phone as they flew back from Phoenix. JJ gave her a questioning look and she held up her hand.

"What !? Oh please not again… I can't believe this…No, No you know what Andy, keep her at the Station until I'm home maybe she'll learn her lesson…Oh and tell her she's in damn big trouble " Alex hung up and rubbed her temple.

"What's up ?" asked JJ and also the others watched her.

"Well apparently my daughter was arrested this evening- nothing serious she was out with some friends and they were picked up by a friend but the car he drove was stolen " she explained and leaned back.

"Kat ? Really !?" asked Spencer surprised.

"Yes, I don't know what she's thinking lately…and I can tell you two-" she pointed at JJ and Hotch " The nice side in me wishes that yours will never do something like that…but the other part wants you to go through the same when they are teenagers, believe me it's damn annoying ".

"That's kinda mean…" said JJ and grinned.

"Sometimes I wish I could raise her once again…you know when you're in your naive twenties you want nothing more than a strong, independent and even rebellious daughter and when you see you've got what you wanted fifteen years later-…you want nothing else then a daughter who's not sneaking off to party's in the night or befriend with criminals and get arrested…this was less stressful when they were little"

"Are these still things you wish us ?" said Hotch who raised an eyebrow before he smiled and JJ grinned.

"A little ".

"For how long will I be grounded this time ?" asked Kat after her Mom and picked her up from the police station .

"You're not grounded "

"Huh !? I thought was would be grounded for months "

"Why should I ground or even talk to you when you ignore everything I say, I begged you to stay away from this boy Kathrin…" Kat could hear the disappointment in her mother's voice, this was even worse than yelling, she sat in silent beside her mother for the rest of the way back home.

"Mom…" she asked when her Mom pulled into their street, but Alex didn't answer and wasn't even looking at her.

"Mom please " Alex got out of the car and took her to go back from the backseat, still not looking at Kat.

"I never thought I would say this but please yell at me or-or ground me Mom ?!"

"Just go to bed Kathrin " Alex said and locked the door, Spencer came down and put a hand on Kat's shoulder.

"How was your trip to the Police Station ?" he teased a little, she gave him a dead look and then ran to her room. He looked after her and then raised his eyebrows.

"Don't ask, did you tuck Ethan in ?" she asked and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Hmm…yes, he missed you though, I had to read two more Chapters to him…hey…we'll go up stairs now and go to bed and then I'm going to give you a massage what do you say " he said.

"If you do this I will love you even more " she said smiling and he grinned.

'_How should he get her ? Why did this old perv wanted this girl ?! Her mother was a fucking FBI Agent so was the boyfriend of her mother and the neighbor which seemed to be a close friend was the freaking Captain of the Police Station ! Serious this was like trying to kidnap the daughter of the President; they would search with every man available from the Police and FBI for god's sake'_.

He thought as he watched hidden when they came home from the Police Station this girl gave her mother sure a hard time, why did people choose to have children? For one thing, they were a pain in the neck and well there were people like him kidnapping them and selling them to the highest bidder! He turned to the monitor beside him, watched how she changed by the cameras he had hidden there when her mother had been on the Case. He had to admit that she was really hot. Slender, still she had quite big breasts for her age, slim waist and a nice butt; yeah she was by no means ugly. Maybe he would find a better bidder for her than this man, she would be a goldmine for the brothel his friend owned. But so were the others, he would try them first maybe he was pleased with one of them. A nasty grin came up on his scarred face; they would not know what hit them.


End file.
